tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81578706995994855912024-03-13T21:27:13.411+05:30Great JokesCollection of Hilarious JokesAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09926113081249929194noreply@blogger.comBlogger310125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8157870699599485591.post-82371075399249923672012-12-15T17:46:00.001+05:302012-12-15T17:46:24.522+05:30Japanese Tourist<br />
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<a href="http://106.imagebam.com/download/yNoVfkEqSXtZKNFTaKRk6g/22601/226009993/driver.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="270" src="http://106.imagebam.com/download/yNoVfkEqSXtZKNFTaKRk6g/22601/226009993/driver.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">There was a Japanese who went to India for sightseeing.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">On the last day, he hired a cab and told the driver to drive to the Airport.During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, "Honda, very fast! Made in Japan !!!.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi and again the Japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled, "Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, "Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a number of cars.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Finally, the taxi came to the airport. The fare was 800 rupees. !!!!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The Japanese exclaimed, "What??… so expensive!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">There upon, the driver yelled back, "Meter, Made in India VERY VERY FAST</span><br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09926113081249929194noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8157870699599485591.post-71929923986587295832012-12-15T17:36:00.001+05:302012-12-15T17:36:50.663+05:30Newton in Romantic Mood......<br />
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<a href="http://105.imagebam.com/download/gbTQM9z8lssVdO2hr90pDQ/22601/226008718/woman-slapping-man.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="280" src="http://105.imagebam.com/download/gbTQM9z8lssVdO2hr90pDQ/22601/226008718/woman-slapping-man.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Universal law of Love:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">" Love can neither be created nor be destroyed; only it can transfer from One girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money " </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">************ *</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">First law of Love:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">" a boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until or unless any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and break the legs of the boy. "</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">************ *</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Second law of Love:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">" the rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and the direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of the bank balance. " </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">************ *</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Third law of Love:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">" the force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite to the force applied by the girl while slapping ."</span><br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09926113081249929194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8157870699599485591.post-44842230116849879102012-12-15T17:29:00.002+05:302012-12-15T17:29:09.573+05:30Season Pass<br />
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<a href="http://101.imagebam.com/download/uSrnjQtrgME6Qe02LllUKA/22601/226007363/2887935365_761d9c48b5%20(1).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="http://101.imagebam.com/download/uSrnjQtrgME6Qe02LllUKA/22601/226007363/2887935365_761d9c48b5%20(1).jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will $be fined 20 the first time."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $180. Are there any questions?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired, "How much for a season pass?" </span><br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09926113081249929194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8157870699599485591.post-21828152468168014742012-12-15T17:24:00.001+05:302012-12-15T17:24:10.358+05:30COMPLETELY FINISHED<br />
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<a href="http://104.imagebam.com/download/9ZhT0CcBIbJ4wEZ8LEFckQ/22601/226006556/the-other-woman-2009-r1-front-cover-71319.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="267" src="http://104.imagebam.com/download/9ZhT0CcBIbJ4wEZ8LEFckQ/22601/226006556/the-other-woman-2009-r1-front-cover-71319.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">No English dictionary has been able to explain the difference between the two words COMPLETE and FINISHED, in a way that's easy to understand.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Some people say there is no difference between </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">COMPLETE & FINISHED.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I beg to differ because, there is!!!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">When you marry the right woman, you are "COMPLETE"..</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">And when you marry the wrong one, you are "FINISHED"!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are ...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"COMPLETELY FINISHED" !! </span><br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09926113081249929194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8157870699599485591.post-21807489976749245672012-12-15T17:20:00.001+05:302012-12-15T17:20:12.150+05:30PEANUTS<br />
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<a href="http://107.imagebam.com/download/zddVicn8v1boKIKvgkoluQ/22601/226005777/article-2184128-1466E255000005DC-901_634x363.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="228" src="http://107.imagebam.com/download/zddVicn8v1boKIKvgkoluQ/22601/226005777/article-2184128-1466E255000005DC-901_634x363.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">A doctor at an insane asylum decided to take his patients to a baseball game.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">When the day of the game arrived. Everything went quite well.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">As the National Anthem started, the doctor yelled, 'Up Nuts', and the patients complied by standing up. After the anthem, he yelled, 'Down Nuts', and they all sat back down in their seats.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">After a home run was hit, the doctor yelled, 'Cheer Nuts'.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">They all broke out into applause and cheered. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">When the umpire made a particularly bad call against the star of the home team, the Doctor yelled, 'Booooo Nuts' and they all started booing and cat calling.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Comfortable with their response, the doctor decided to go get a beer and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge. When he turned, there was a riot in progress.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Finding his tizzied assistant, the doctor asked, 'What in the world happened?'</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The assistant replied, 'Well everything was going just fine until this guy walked by and yelled, 'PEANUTS!'</span><br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09926113081249929194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8157870699599485591.post-25706227024738386942012-12-15T17:13:00.000+05:302012-12-15T17:13:45.359+05:30Ghost chat<br />
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<a href="http://101.imagebam.com/download/fYXqmQrBnDPsG8fvJ5a9Nw/22601/226005120/unfaithful-video.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="263" src="http://101.imagebam.com/download/fYXqmQrBnDPsG8fvJ5a9Nw/22601/226005120/unfaithful-video.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Two ghosts met and both chat about how they died.<br />
<br />
1st ghost : How u died?<br />
<br />
2nd ghost : I died of cold.<br />
<br />
1st ghost : How does it feel when you're dying in cold?<br />
<br />
2nd ghost : Actually, I was accidentally locked in the refrigerator.<br />
<br />
Initially, I was shivering, then my whole body started to freeze, later I felt the whole world was dark and I died suffocating.<br />
<br />
1st ghost : Wow what a horrible way to die....<br />
<br />
2nd ghost : How about you? How u die?<br />
<br />
1st ghost : I died from heart attack.<br />
<br />
2nd ghost : I see, why did u have a heart attack?<br />
<br />
1st ghost : Actually, I found out that my wife is having an affair with another man.<br />
<br />
One day, when I came back from work, saw a pair of man shoes outside my house. Then, I realized that the guy was in my house with my wife. When I rushed into the bedroom, my wife was alone.<br />
<br />
I must find where that bastard is hiding. So I searched the toilet, I ran downstairs, looked in the storeroom, but the bastard was not there. So, I ran upstairs and searched the wardrobe, but I found nothing.<br />
<br />
Because of all that running,I got a heart attack and died.<br />
<br />
2nd ghost : Why you never look for the bastard in the fridge? The bastard was hiding there. We both might be alive now!!<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09926113081249929194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8157870699599485591.post-30441114875235391392012-12-15T16:42:00.000+05:302012-12-15T16:42:09.798+05:30Warm and Moist!<br />
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<a href="http://105.imagebam.com/download/fk-hRmL8fb281KAaz5f3Ag/22601/226001069/700-01380875w.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="http://105.imagebam.com/download/fk-hRmL8fb281KAaz5f3Ag/22601/226001069/700-01380875w.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Customer: I'd like to buy some dog food.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Salesman: Do you have a dog?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Customer: Yes.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Salesman: Where is he?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Customer: He's at home.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Salesman: I'm sorry, I can't sell this dog food to you unless I see the dog. Store policy.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The next day, the same customer returns.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Customer: I'd like to buy some cat food.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Salesman: Do you have a cat?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Customer: Yes.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Salesman: Well.where is she?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Customer: She's at home!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Salesman: Sorry, I can't sell this cat food to you unless I see your cat.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The next day the customer returns again.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Salesman: What's in the sack?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Customer: Put your hand inside.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Salesman: Hmmm.It's warm and moist! What is it?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Customer: I would like to buy some toilet paper......</span><br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09926113081249929194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8157870699599485591.post-76882434556082268812012-12-15T16:34:00.000+05:302012-12-15T16:34:08.906+05:30Santa`s Furniture Business<br />
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<a href="http://102.imagebam.com/download/G0gNuDpvxgtpy8P4oNes7Q/22600/225999730/woman-at-bar.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="360" src="http://102.imagebam.com/download/G0gNuDpvxgtpy8P4oNes7Q/22600/225999730/woman-at-bar.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Santa, a furniture dealer decided that he wanted to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris to see what he could find.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">After arriving in Paris (this being his first trip ever to the French capital), he met with some manufacturers and finally selected a new range of furniture that he thought would sell well back home in India.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a pub and have a glass of wine. As he sat down enjoying his wine, soon enough, a very beautiful attractive young lady came to his table, asked him something in French (which he did not understand), and motioned toward the chair.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">He invited her to sit down. He tried to speak to her in Hindi, Punjabi & English, but she did not speak or know any of these languages. So, after a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">She nodded, and he ordered a glass of wine for her.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">They left the pub and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music. They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">She nodded, and they got up to dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing up.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Then, after they were back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a bed.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Till this day, the Santa has no idea how she figured out that he was in the furniture business!.....</span><br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09926113081249929194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8157870699599485591.post-79647173887544005482012-12-15T16:25:00.000+05:302012-12-15T16:25:00.102+05:30Technology<br />
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<a href="http://102.imagebam.com/download/aOMJYvjOfW3CcbOrmQI0yw/22600/225997600/clean_urine.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="302" src="http://102.imagebam.com/download/aOMJYvjOfW3CcbOrmQI0yw/22600/225997600/clean_urine.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">''Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better."</span><br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09926113081249929194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8157870699599485591.post-1327186591469811802012-12-15T16:19:00.000+05:302012-12-15T16:19:34.149+05:30Pregnant unwed daughter<br />
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<a href="http://105.imagebam.com/download/0CMEhTSDXu09oqkwuBe3hQ/22600/225996003/539w.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="255" src="http://105.imagebam.com/download/0CMEhTSDXu09oqkwuBe3hQ/22600/225996003/539w.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">A young unmarried girl discovers that she is pregnant. Scared, She confides this ' news' to her mother.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did This to you?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature And distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in a very expensive suit steps out of it and enters the house.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">He sits in the living room with the father, the mother and the Girl, and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the Problem. However, I can't marry her because of my personal family Situation, but I'll take responsibility. If a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beach villa and a $1,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $2,000,000 bank account.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">If it is twins, a factory and $1,000,000 each. However,</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">If there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You can try again !"</span><br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09926113081249929194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8157870699599485591.post-70971029381530971152012-12-15T16:14:00.001+05:302012-12-15T16:14:20.335+05:30Smart Beggar<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://101.imagebam.com/download/RIZ9_jEaA_A_l2qsc5scPQ/22600/225994775/creative-beggar.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://101.imagebam.com/download/RIZ9_jEaA_A_l2qsc5scPQ/22600/225994775/creative-beggar.gif" width="367" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Parvinder and Habib are beggars. They beg in different areas of London...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Habib begs just as long as Parvinder but only collects £2 to £3 every day.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Parvinder brings home a suitcase full of £10 notes, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot of money to spend.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Habib says to Parvinder, "I work just as long and hard as you do but how do you bring home a suitcase full of £10 notes every day?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Parvinder says, "Look at your sign, what does it say'?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Habib's sign reads: I have no work, a wife and 6 kids to support.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Parvinder says, "No wonder you only get £2- £3." Habib says, "So what does your sign say"?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Parvinder's sign reads: I only need another £10 to move back to Pakistan !</span><br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09926113081249929194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8157870699599485591.post-89627286079535143052012-12-15T16:07:00.000+05:302012-12-15T16:08:38.319+05:30DIVORCE VS. MURDER<br />
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<a href="http://108.imagebam.com/download/eUbt4DAOUed8y67o__NkaQ/22600/225993429/woman_pharmacy_1242928c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="250" src="http://108.imagebam.com/download/eUbt4DAOUed8y67o__NkaQ/22600/225993429/woman_pharmacy_1242928c.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The pharmacist's eye got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09926113081249929194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8157870699599485591.post-50290135118913928912012-12-15T15:58:00.001+05:302012-12-15T15:58:11.693+05:30A cow from Alberta<br />
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<a href="http://101.imagebam.com/download/GxNzcQBVN4dPBwn4QzZHEw/22600/225991251/Cowdairy%20500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="235" src="http://101.imagebam.com/download/GxNzcQBVN4dPBwn4QzZHEw/22600/225991251/Cowdairy%20500.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The only cow in a small town in USA stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found that they could buy a cow from BC Canada for 1,000 dollars, or one from Alberta Canada for 800 dollars. Being poor, they bought the cow from Alberta.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all the time, and the people were amazed and very happy.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow and produce more cows like it. Then they would never have to worry about the milk supply again.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">They bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">However, whenever the bull came close to the cow, the cow would move away. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he could not succeed in his quest.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The people were very upset and decided to ask the rabbi, who was very wise, what to do.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">They told the rabbi what was happening; "Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. An approach from the side and she just walks away to the other side.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The rabbi thought about this for a minute and asked, "Did you buy this cow from Alberta?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The people were dumbfounded. They had never mentioned where they had gotten the cow. "You are truly a wise rabbi. How did you know we got the cow from Alberta?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"The rabbi answered sadly, "My wife is from Alberta."</span><br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09926113081249929194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8157870699599485591.post-50695793816442502142012-12-15T15:44:00.000+05:302012-12-15T15:44:53.330+05:30God And Mahatma Gandhi<br />
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<a href="http://106.imagebam.com/download/lGHOKOqEbKqZJid2h7uhiQ/22599/225988634/mahatma-gandhi-wallpaper.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="http://106.imagebam.com/download/lGHOKOqEbKqZJid2h7uhiQ/22599/225988634/mahatma-gandhi-wallpaper.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">God decided to encourage people to have fewer children and introduced an award scheme… During the procedure at one point, he concentrated on learning about the situation in India :</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">He first met Jawaharlal Nehru in heaven, and asked him how many children he had during his time on earth. Nehru replied… only one!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Happy with the relatively good family planning adopted, God awarded Nehru with a Celestial Rolls Royce!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Indira Gandhi was next, and God asked the same question. She replied she had two children, and God thought, not too bad, so he gave her a BMW.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Dr. Radhakrishnan was next in line. God was not pleased to hear that he had six children, and gave him a Morris-8 as a kind of punishment…</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Sometime later, the three (Nehru, Indira and Radhakrishnan) going around in their new cars, saw Mahatma Gandhi on foot!!!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Wondering what went wrong; they asked why God hadn't been merciful with him…</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The Mahatma replied in disgust, "God did not even ask me!!!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Some idiots had told him that I am the father of the whole Indian nation!"</span><br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09926113081249929194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8157870699599485591.post-75152046850714255792012-12-15T15:37:00.001+05:302012-12-15T15:37:24.535+05:30Brake Fail<br />
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<a href="http://102.imagebam.com/download/XY0AXgBj3zaocflCeqpOAg/22599/225987459/SANTA-BANTA-CARTOON-3.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://102.imagebam.com/download/XY0AXgBj3zaocflCeqpOAg/22599/225987459/SANTA-BANTA-CARTOON-3.png" width="343" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Brake fail<br />
<br />
Santa : O Banno Car ki speed itani kyo badha di..?<br />
<br />
Biwi : Oji Car ki break fail ho gayi hai, accident ho jaye iske pehele ghar pahunch jaate hai.<br />
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... .<br />
<br />
Banta fell in love with a porno star and married her. He got an opportunity to watch one of her movie.... The Movie came to an End.<br />
<br />
A bit disturbed and annoyed with what he saw, Banta told himself, "Thank God it was just a movie and not reality."<br />
<br />
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... .<br />
Santa & Banta were fighting after exam.<br />
<br />
Sir: Y r u fighting?<br />
<br />
Santa : This fool left the answer sheet blank,<br />
<br />
Sir: So what?<br />
<br />
Santa: Even I did the same thing, now teacher will think that we both copied.<br />
<br />
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... .<br />
<br />
Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?<br />
<br />
Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta hai jaise usko vapas karne aya hai.<br />
<br />
........... ......... ......... ......... ......... .<br />
<br />
<br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09926113081249929194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8157870699599485591.post-28034256246362363852012-12-15T15:29:00.001+05:302012-12-15T15:29:49.107+05:30THE VOODOO PENIS<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://103.imagebam.com/download/PGG1Ye2GYP9j-DNTgMVXiA/22599/225986831/car-ad.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="352" src="http://103.imagebam.com/download/PGG1Ye2GYP9j-DNTgMVXiA/22599/225986831/car-ad.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">A businessman was getting ready to go on a long business trip, so he thought he'd buy his wife something to keep her occupied . He went to a sex shop & explained his situation.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The man there said, 'Well, I don't know that I have anything that will keep her occupied for so many weeks, except... the Voodoo Penis!'</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The husband said 'The what'? The man repeated</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The Voodoo Penis' and pulled out what seemed to be an ordinary dildo. The husband laughed, and said, 'It looks like a dildo!'</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The man then pointed to the door and said, 'Voodoo Penis, door!'</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The penis rose out of its box, darted over to the door and started pounding the keyhole.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The whole door shook wildly with vibrations, so much that a crack began to form down the middle. Then the man said 'Voodoo Penis, return to box!' and the penis stopped & returned to the box.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The husband bought it. He took it home to his wife, and after the husband had been gone a few days, the wife remembered the Voodoo Penis. She undressed, opened the box and said 'Voodoo Penis, my crotch'. The penis shot to her crotch. It was absolutely incredible. After three mind -shattering orgasms, she became very exhausted and decided she'd had enough. She tried to pull it out, but it was stuck. Her husband had neglected to tell her how to turn it off. So she put her clothes on, got in her car and started for the hospital.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">On the way, another incredibly intense orgasm made her swerve over the road. A police officer saw this and immediately pulled her over.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">He asked for her license, and then asked how much she'd had to drink. Gasping and twitching, the woman said 'I haven't had anything to drink officer.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">You see, I've got this Voodoo Penis thing stuck in my crotch and it won't stop screwing me...'</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The officer looked at her for a second, shook his head and replied, 'Yeah right...Voodoo Penis, my ass....!' </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The rest, as they say, is history... </span><br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09926113081249929194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8157870699599485591.post-41946295646532722902012-12-15T15:18:00.000+05:302012-12-15T15:21:12.009+05:30Management Decision<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://106.imagebam.com/download/gMahSC5hFqkrrbdjimDFLw/22599/225985492/251110satish.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="298" src="http://106.imagebam.com/download/gMahSC5hFqkrrbdjimDFLw/22599/225985492/251110satish.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Once SONIA GANDHI, L.K. Advani and Laloo Prasad Yadav were travelling in an autorickshaw. They met with an accident and all three of them died. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Yama Raja was waiting for this moment at the doorstep of death. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>He asks Mrs GANDHI and Advani to go to HEAVEN. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>But, for Laloo, Yama had already decided that he should be sent to HELL. Laloo is not at all happy with this decision. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>He asks Yama as to why this discrimination is being made. All three of them had served the public. Similarly, all took bribes, all misused public positions, etc. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Then why the differential treatment? </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>He felt that there should be a formal test or an objective evaluation before a decision is made; and should not be just based on opinion or pre-conceived notions. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Yama agrees to this and asks all the three of them to appear for an English test. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Mrs GANDHI is asked to spell " INDIA " and she does it correctly. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Advani is asked to spell " ENGLAND " and he too passes. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>It is Laloo's turn and he is asked to spell " CZECHOSLOVAKIA ". </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Laloo protests that he doesn't know English. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>He says this is not fair and that he was given a tough question and thus forced to fail with false intent. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Yama then agrees to conduct a written test in Hindi (to give another chance assuming that Laloo should at least feel that Hindi would provide an equal platform for all three). </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Mrs GANDHI is asked to write "KUTTA BOLA BHOW BHOW". She writes it easily and passes. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Advani is asked to write "BILLY BOLI MYAUN MYAUN". He too passes. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Laloo is asked to write "BANDAR BOLA GURRRRRR....." </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Tough one. He fails again. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Laloo is extremely unhappy. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Having been a student of history (which the other two weren't),he now requested for all the 3 to be subjected to a test in history </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Yama says OK but this would be the last chance and that he would not take any more tests. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Mrs GANDHI is asked: "When did India get Independence ?". She replied "1947" and passed. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Advani is asked "How many people died during the independence struggle?". </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>He gets nervous. Yama asked him to choose from 3 options: 100,000 or 200,000 or 300,000. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Advani catches it and says 200,000 and passes. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>It's Laloo's turn now. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>' </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>' </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>' </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Yama asks him to give the Name and Address of each of the 200,000 who died in the struggle. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Laloo accepts defeat and agrees to go to HELL. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Moral of the story:</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b> IF YOUR MANAGEMENT HAS DECIDED TO SCREW YOU, THERE IS NO ESCAPE. ....</b></span><br />
<br />
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<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09926113081249929194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8157870699599485591.post-55686696025818339712012-12-15T15:00:00.002+05:302012-12-15T15:03:44.693+05:30I Want You To Be......<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://107.imagebam.com/download/sTxgQ0u5gQU1Fu9GakKELg/22599/225981801/CoupleDrinkingWine.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://107.imagebam.com/download/sTxgQ0u5gQU1Fu9GakKELg/22599/225981801/CoupleDrinkingWine.jpg" width="550" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>I Want You To Be</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>I Want You To Be with Me In a Nice Restaurant</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>To Have Candle Light Dinner...</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>& Say Those Sweet Three Words To U...</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>"Pay The Bill..."</b></span><br />
<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">===================================</b><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://106.imagebam.com/download/wkupxK4i4DzIfVQUXUlKBQ/22599/225982220/CoupleDrinkingWine.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://106.imagebam.com/download/wkupxK4i4DzIfVQUXUlKBQ/22599/225982220/CoupleDrinkingWine.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><br /></b></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Yesterday whole night I was thinking about only "U"</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Now I'm thinking of "V".</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Tonight I'll definitely think about</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>W,X,Y and Z....</b></span><br />
<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">===================================</b><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://107.imagebam.com/download/63FlEN35dzci13G7B40qMg/22599/225982358/Angelina-Jolie-Wallpaper-angelina-jolie-19939129-1920-1200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://107.imagebam.com/download/63FlEN35dzci13G7B40qMg/22599/225982358/Angelina-Jolie-Wallpaper-angelina-jolie-19939129-1920-1200.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>What is the Frustrations ?</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Angelina Jolie Comes at your home</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>And say Kiss me Now at just Rs. 100....</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>But that time you have only Rs. 50...</b></span><br />
<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">===================================</b><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://107.imagebam.com/download/y7EvRbbSNavf4NP9vNLFxQ/22599/225982507/hutch%20dog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="452" src="http://107.imagebam.com/download/y7EvRbbSNavf4NP9vNLFxQ/22599/225982507/hutch%20dog.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><br /></b>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>A dog was chasing a sardar and the sardar was laughing</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>A bystander : why are you laughing ?</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Sardar : I have a Airtel phone but still hutch network is following.</b></span><br />
<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">===================================</b><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://106.imagebam.com/download/K2zz14uR1prS7vnmWeaeFQ/22599/225982723/40079-ranbir-kapoor-looking-like-a-sardar.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="512" src="http://106.imagebam.com/download/K2zz14uR1prS7vnmWeaeFQ/22599/225982723/40079-ranbir-kapoor-looking-like-a-sardar.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Sardar</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Sardar shouting 2 his girl friend " u said v will do register marriage and cheated me, I was waiting 4 u yesterday whole day in the post office...."</b></span><br />
<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">===================================</b><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://102.imagebam.com/download/Zxf6bPEHvam2WdPj39gy3w/22599/225982810/Son-of-Sardar-Ajay-Devgn.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="580" src="http://102.imagebam.com/download/Zxf6bPEHvam2WdPj39gy3w/22599/225982810/Son-of-Sardar-Ajay-Devgn.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>A Tamilian called up sardar and asks " Tamil therima??"</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Sardar got mad, angrily replied.... "Hindi tera baap!!!"</b></span><br />
<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">===================================</b><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://102.imagebam.com/download/u1I91wv3BSeiQPZI8WVCWA/22599/225982988/alm_courtroom_1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://102.imagebam.com/download/u1I91wv3BSeiQPZI8WVCWA/22599/225982988/alm_courtroom_1.jpg" width="564" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Divorce Joke...</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>"Mr. Smith, I have reviewed this case very carefully",</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>The divorce court judge said, "and I've decided to give your wife $275 a week."</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>"That's very nice, your honour", the husband said.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>"And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks, myself".</b></span><br />
<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">===================================</b><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://106.imagebam.com/download/NQE_puC_tyKQLWMUsVsCtQ/22599/225983689/4660519179_24724cab3d_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="342" src="http://106.imagebam.com/download/NQE_puC_tyKQLWMUsVsCtQ/22599/225983689/4660519179_24724cab3d_o.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Peace On Earth</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>What do u call a woman in heaven?</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>An Angel.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>A crowd of woman in heaven?</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>A host of Angels.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>And all woman in heaven?</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>PEACE ON EARTH!</b></span><br />
<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">===================================</b>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09926113081249929194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8157870699599485591.post-30981507632171396562012-05-10T16:21:00.001+05:302012-05-10T16:21:42.889+05:30Wedding Ceremony<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-rpScju4mAYI/T6udmmM3cuI/AAAAAAAACOc/d8R6n4mtICw/s1600/blogspot1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-rpScju4mAYI/T6udmmM3cuI/AAAAAAAACOc/d8R6n4mtICw/s1600/blogspot1.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle to give away to the groom.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed some thing in his hand.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>So he announced 'Ladies and Gentlemen today is the luckiest day of my life.'</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and continued, 'My daughter finally, finally returned my credit card to me.'</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>The whole audience including priest started laughing.... </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>But not the poor groom!</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>******</b></span><br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09926113081249929194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8157870699599485591.post-69626544193948446642012-05-10T16:18:00.001+05:302012-05-10T16:18:56.792+05:30Beer and Shot<br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Joe stopped at his favorite watering hole after a hard day's work to relax. He noticed a man next to him order a shot and a beer. The man drank the shot, chased it with the beer and then looked into his shirt pocket. This continued several times before Joe's curiosity got the best of him.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>He leaned over to the guy and said, "Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice your little ritual. Why in the world do you look into your shirt pocket every time you drink your shot and beer?"</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>The man replied, "There's a picture of my wife in there, and when she starts lookin' good, I'm headin' home!"</b></span><br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09926113081249929194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8157870699599485591.post-63616245893004119352012-05-10T16:15:00.001+05:302012-05-10T16:15:31.598+05:30Sahara Desert<br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>A nun and a priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>On the third day out the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>After dusting themselves off, the nun and the priest surveyed their situation.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>A long period of silence ensued and the priest spoke. "Well, sister, this looks pretty grim."</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>"I know, father. In fact, I don't think it likely that we can survive more than a day or two."</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>"I agree", says the Father, "Sister, since we are unlikely to make it out of here alive, would you do something for me"?</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>"Anything, Father."</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>"I have never seen a woman's breasts and I was wondering if I might see yours."</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>"Well, under the circumstances I don't see that it would do any harm".</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>The nun opened her habit and the priest enjoyed the sight of her shapely breasts, commenting frequently on their beauty.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>"Sister, would you mind if I touched them"?</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>She consented and he fondled them for several minutes.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>"Father, could I ask something of you"?</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>"Yes, Sister"</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>"I have never seen a man's penis. Could I see yours?"</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>"I suppose that would be OK," the priest replied lifting his robe.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>"Oh Father, may I touch it?"</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>The priest consented and after a few minutes of fondling he was sporting a huge erection.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>"Sister, you know that if I insert my penis in the right place, it can produce life.."</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>"Is that true father?"</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>"Yes, it is, Sister."</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>"Oh Father that's wonderful ....,</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>So why don't you stick it in the camel, give it life ... and let's get the fuck out of here."</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09926113081249929194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8157870699599485591.post-39887530134541423772012-05-10T15:57:00.001+05:302012-05-10T15:57:14.978+05:30A Prayer to Lord<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-k7deRUfnq3E/T6uX6ZwIFtI/AAAAAAAACM8/BTb8MRU935k/s1600/madhubala-001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-k7deRUfnq3E/T6uX6ZwIFtI/AAAAAAAACM8/BTb8MRU935k/s1600/madhubala-001.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Dear Lord,</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>You took my favorite actor.. Shammi Kapoor.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>You took my favorite actress.. ..Madhubala,</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>You took my favorite singer.... Mohammed Rafi</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>I just wanted to let you know;</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>My favorite politicians are :</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Sharad Pawar,</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Manish Tiwari,</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Kapil Sibal,</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Abhishek Sangvi ,</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Madamji,</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Dig VjaySingh,</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>PChh....</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>And I can send you the list. </b></span><br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09926113081249929194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8157870699599485591.post-52041827639717302442012-05-10T15:50:00.001+05:302012-05-10T15:50:55.348+05:30Wife is a wife..<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TY7rGKJL6mg/T6uWZ7tbQ4I/AAAAAAAACM0/h-KT2Cypv-A/s1600/blogspot1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TY7rGKJL6mg/T6uWZ7tbQ4I/AAAAAAAACM0/h-KT2Cypv-A/s1600/blogspot1.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Ek beemar employee se uski biwi boli - Iss bar koi janwaron ke doctor ko dikhao, tabhi aap theekh hogey…</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Pati - Who kyon ?</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Biwi - Roz Subah Murge ki tarah jaldi uthh jate ho...</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Ghode ki tarah bhag ke office chale jate ho...</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Gadhe ki tarah din bhar kaam karte ho...</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Lomdi ki tarah idhar-udhar se information batorkar report banatey ho...</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Bandar ki tarah boss ke isharon par nachtey ho...</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Ghar aakar pariwar par Kutte ki tarah chillatey ho....</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Aur fir Bhains ki tarah so jaatey ho.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Insaano ka doctor tumhe kya khakh theekh kar payega... </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09926113081249929194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8157870699599485591.post-48856343106846106382012-05-10T15:46:00.001+05:302012-05-10T15:46:45.435+05:30Blonde jokes<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ov1RMHBvgj0/T6uVdvHe34I/AAAAAAAACMs/o347XAuClow/s1600/blogspot1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ov1RMHBvgj0/T6uVdvHe34I/AAAAAAAACMs/o347XAuClow/s1600/blogspot1.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking..... ...and one blonde says to the other: "Which do you think is farther away........ ..Florida or the moon?" The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida..... ..?????</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>CAR TROUBLE</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor" She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>SPEEDING TICKET</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>KNITTING</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!" "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>BLONDE ON THE SUN</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>IN A VACUUM</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?" "HelOOOooo," answered the blond, "they're watch dogs."</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>*******</b></span><br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09926113081249929194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8157870699599485591.post-70133031996353899222012-05-10T15:43:00.001+05:302012-05-10T15:43:36.686+05:30Sniffer Dog<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-suSSO-7JINA/T6uUrKMJ89I/AAAAAAAACMk/VJ9vQteF9co/s1600/blogspot1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-suSSO-7JINA/T6uUrKMJ89I/AAAAAAAACMk/VJ9vQteF9co/s400/blogspot1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sits down in the aisle seat and puts his black Labrador in the middle seat next to the man...</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>The first man looks very quizzically at the dog and asks why the dog is allowed on the plane.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>The second man explains, I'm a Drug Enforcement Agency officer and the dog is a Sniffer dog. His name is Smithy and he's the best there is. I'll show you once we get airborne, when I put him to work."</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>The plane takes off, and once it has levelled out, the agent says, "Watch this." He tells Smithy to 'search'.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Smithy jumps down, walks along the aisle, and finally sits very purposefully next to a woman for several seconds. Smithy then returns to his seat and puts one paw on the agent's arm.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>The agent says, "Good boy", and he turns to the man and says,"That woman is in possession of marijuana, so I'm making a note of her seat number and the authorities will apprehend her when we land."</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>"Say, that's pretty neat," replies the first man.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Once again, the agent sends Smithy to search the aisles. The dog sniffs about, sits down beside a man for a few seconds, returns to his seat and this time, he places TWO paws on the agent's arm. The agent says, "That man is carrying cocaine, so again, I'm making note of his seat number for the police."</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>"I like it!" says his seat mate.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>The agent then tells Smithy to 'search' again. Smithy walks up and down the aisles for a little while, sits down for a moment and then comes racing back to the agent, jumps into the middle seat and proceeds to shit all over the place.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>The first man is really amazed now by this behaviour and can't figure out how or why a well-trained dog would behave like this, so he asks the agent., "What's going on?"</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>The agent nervously replies, "He just found a bomb!"</b></span><br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09926113081249929194noreply@blogger.com0