Computer Tech Calls

These "silly tech support calls " have been around in e-mails and online since the dawn of tech support.  


They are always fun to read.  I'm in the mood for a good laugh.  How about you?
**********
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.


Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?


Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.


Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.


Customer: No, wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... Sorry....
**********
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?


Female customer: A white one...


Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.


Customer:  Your left or my left?
**********
Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?


Male customer: Hello... I can't print.


Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and..
.
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.
**********
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...  
**********
Customer: I have problems printing in red...


Tech support: Do you have a color printer?


Customer: Aaaah....... ......... ....thank you.
**********
Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?


Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
**********
Customer:  My keyboard is not working anymore.


Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?


Customer:  No. I can't get behind the computer.


Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back


Customer:  OK


Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?


Customer: Yes


Tech support:  That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?


Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...
**********
Customer: I can't get on the Internet.


Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?


Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.


Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?


Customer: Five stars.
**********
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?


Customer: Netscape.


Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.


Customer : Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
**********
Customer:  I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
**********
Tech support: How may I help you?


Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.


Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?


Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?  
**********
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.


Tech support: Are you running it under windows?


Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."  
**********
And last but not least...


Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager"


Customer: I don't have a P.


Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.


Customer: What do you mean?


Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.


Customer:  I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!
**********