Suicide of Disagreement

A talking Frog told Lalu, Lalu, you don't have any brain.
Lalu said, I have it.
Frog repeated, No you don't.
Excited Lalu yelled, Yes, I have it.
Angry Frog, screamed, No hell, you don't. And Frog jumps into the water.
Perturbed Lalu mumbled to himself, There was no need to drown and commit suicide for it!!
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The newly married wife goes to the store to buy personal things for the husband. She inquires about the deodorant for the men.
The salesman asks, "Do you want the ball type."
The wife says, "No this is for his underarms."
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Teacher: U idiots! At your age Einstein ranked first in class. Wt abt u..?
Student: Sir at your age Hitler committed suicide..! Wt abt u..?
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Boy to girl: Hey if i climb this coconut tree, I can see Engg college girls.
Girl: Leave both the hands from there, U can see medical college girls..
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Mirror Desire
Lalu spoke in love, "Why don't you and I go to some place where there is nobody."
Pyari flirted, "You won't make any mischief with me there, would you?"
Lalu assured in fright, "Not at all"
Pyari angered, "Then why the hell you want to go to there?"
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Always listen to your wife, she gives sound advice :
99% Sound and 1% Advice….
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A student In a interview:
How does an electric motor run?
Student:dhuurrrr
Interviewer shouts: stop it.
Student: dhurr dhp dp dup dup.
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Girlfriends r like chocolates, taste good anytime.
Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Wives r like Dal RICE, eaten when there's no choice.
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Ouch!
Ouch! It's too tight.
Don't worry,sweetheart ! We'll try to do it slowly.Push it in .
Aah!  I  can't. It's painful.
Ok,sweetheart, Let's get another..... .... WEDDING RING
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The Top 5 answ. Given by girls in India when a boy proposes.
1)No
2)R u mad
3)i alwys looked u like a good friend
4)i don't belive in love
5)Sorry i love someone
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A Toilet is like a committee meeting.
People come with lot of pressure, sit, create a lot of noise, and ultimately DROP THE MATTER.
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Groucho: So, Mrs. Smith, do you have any children?
Mrs. Smith: Yes,  thirteen.
Groucho: Thirteen! Good lord, isn't that a burden?
Mrs. Smith:  Well, I love my husband.
Groucho: Lady, I love my cigar but I take it out of  my mouth once in a while.
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Interviewer : Give me the opposite words.
Banta Singh : Ok
Interviewer : Made in India
Banta Singh : Destroyed in Pakistan
Interviewer : Good… Keep it Up
Banta Singh : Bad…. Put it Down
Interviewer : Maxi Mum
Banta Singh : Mini Dad
Interviewer : Enough! Take your Seat
Banta Singh : Insufficient! Don’t take my seat
Interviewer : Idiot! Take your seat
Banta Singh : Clever! Don’t take my seat
Interviewer : I say you get out!
Banta Singh : You didn’t say I come in
Interviewer : I reject you!
Banta Singh : You appoint me.
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Munna Bhai: Aay circuit, baapu bole to Gandhi ji
Kapde kyun nahi pehantay thay?
Circuit: Bhai bole to baapu bhi us time
Ke Salmaan Khan thay!!!
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Maths teacher asked JOHNY
“If u have 12 chocalate and u give 5 to DONA,
3 to ALICE and 4 to ROMA then what will u get ?
JOHNY replied “Sir! 3 new girl friends”.
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Sardar built 2 Swimming Pools. And he left one of them unfilled, why?
When asked him, he said,
"Oye, that’s for those who don’t know Swimming. 
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Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?
Sardar: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE. 
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U can control ur breadth,not ur death.
U can control ur life but not wife...
U can control emotions.... .but not
Loose motions..ha ha
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