Smart Wife

A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife:


Dear Wife:
You must realize you are 54 years old and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife. I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that, by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight.
Your Husband


When he arrived at the hotel, a faxed letter waited for him:


Dear Husband:
You, too, are 54 years old and by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year old pool boy. Since you are a mathematician, you will appreciate that 18 goes into 54 more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore, don't wait up.
Your Wife

Kanjibhai - ( Gujju joke )

Long long time ago, before he got married, was travelling from Ahemadabad to Bombay by train. Rupaben was also travelling in the same compartment except that they both didn't know each other in the beginning.

Once they started talking, they realized they both had a lot in common.

Both were Single.

Both were Gujaratis.

Both were going to Bombay.

Both were Schoolteachers.

Both were starting a new job at the Mithibai College.

They seemed to hit it off well and decided to be roommates in Bombay and made a pact that they would do everything together. So they lived in the same house, travelled to the college together on Kanjibhai's scooter, had lunch in the staff room together, returned home together.

They were watching the TV together, eating dinner together and were also sharing the same bedroom and ...EVEN sharing the same bed.

The only problem was Rupaben was placing a pillow between them at bedtime, much to the frustration of Kanjibhai; who ended up spending many sleepless nights with this most desirable beauty besides him, separated by the pillow. Kanjibhai's frustration had built up to such an extent that he could take it no more, and ended up deciding to drink.

So one day he took off from the college leaving Rupaben on her own. She was quite upset, but made it home by auto rikshaw. The pact had been broken so she decided not to open the door for Kanjibhai when he got home drunk at about 2 AM.

Kanjibhai knocked on the door for about 20 minutes and pleaded with his roommate to let him in. After listening to his crap for 20 minutes, Rupaben said, " Where the hell did you disappear today? We decided to do everything together! Now you sleep outside". Kanjibhai, "I will jump over the wall and come in if you don't open the door right now!"

Rupaben says, "Huve...reva de! Reva de! Chaar mahina thaya... TU to pillow in upar thi jump na karisakio... to deewal upar thi su jump karvano !!!

My Friend Circle

Ballo Prasad Yadav came home from a secret two year mission only to find his wife, Rabri, with a new born baby. Furious, he was determined to track down the father to extract revenge.

"Was it my friend Banta", he demanded.

"No !" his weeping wife replied.

"Was it my friend Ramta then?" he asked.

"No !!!" she said even more upset.

"Well which one of my no good friends did this then?" he asked.

"Don't you think I have any friends of my own?" Rabri snapped.

Sex on the beach

Jenny was sitting on a beach, attempting to strike up a conversation with the attractive gentleman reading on the blanket beside hers. "Hello, sir," she said, "Do you like movies?" "Yes, I do," he responded, then returned to his book. Jenny persisted, "Do you like gardening?" The man again looked up from his book, "Yes, I do," he said politely before returning to his reading. Undaunted, Jenny asked, "Do you like pussycats?" With that, the man dropped his book and pounced on Jenny, ravaging her as she'd never been ravaged before. As the cloud of sand began to settle, Jenny dragged herself to a sitting position and panted, "How did you know that was what I wanted?" The man thought for a moment and replied, "How did you know my name was Katz?"