COMPLETELY FINISHED

No English dictionary has been able to explain the difference between the two words COMPLETE and FINISHED, in a way that's easy to understand.

Some people say there is no difference between 
COMPLETE & FINISHED.

I beg to differ because, there is!!!

When you marry the right woman, you are "COMPLETE"..

And when you marry the wrong one, you are "FINISHED"!

And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are ...
"COMPLETELY FINISHED" !!   

THERAPY

A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed. "Doc, you've got to help me. I can't go on like this. "

"What's the problem?" the doctor inquired.

"Well, I'm 35 years old and I still have no luck with the ladies. No matter how hard I try, I just seem to scare them away."

"My friend, this is not a serious problem. You just need to work on your self-esteem. Each morning, I want you to get up and run to the bathroom mirror. Tell yourself that you are a good person, a fun person, and an attractive person. But say it with real conviction. Within a week you'll have women buzzing all around you."

The man seemed content with this advice and walked out of the office a bit excited. Three weeks later he returned with the same downtrodden expression on his face.

" Did my advice not work?" asked the doctor.

"It worked all right. For the past several weeks I've enjoyed some of the best moments in my life with the most fabulous looking women."

"So, what's your problem?"

"I don't have a problem," the man replied. "My wife does ."

UNFAITHFUL HUSBAND

A man and a woman were married for 40 years. When they first got married the man said, "I am putting a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it".

In all their 40 years of marriage the woman never looked. However on the afternoon of their 40th anniversary curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box were 3 empty pop bottles and $1874.25 in small bills. She closed the box and put it back under the bed. Now that she knew what was in the box, she was doubly curious as to why.

That evening they were out for a special dinner at their favorite restaurant. After dinner the woman could no longer contain her curiosity and she confessed, saying: "I am so sorry. For all these years I kept my promise and never looked. However today the temptation was too much and I gave in. But now I need to know why do you keep the bottles in the box?"

The man thought for a while and said: "I guess after all these wonderful years you deserve to know the truth: "Whenever I was unfaithful to you I put an empty Coke bottle in the box under the bed to remind myself not to do it again."

The woman was shocked, but said: "I am very disappointed and saddened but I guess after all those years away from home on the road, temptation does happen and I guess that 3 times is not that bad considering the years."

They hugged and made their peace. A little while later the woman asked the man: "Why do you have all that money in the box?"

To which the man answered: "Whenever the box filled with empties, I cashed them in."