Brake Fail

Brake fail

Santa : O Banno Car ki speed itani kyo badha di..?

Biwi : Oji Car ki break fail ho gayi hai, accident ho jaye iske pehele ghar pahunch jaate hai.
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... .

Banta fell in love with a porno star and married her. He got an opportunity to watch one of her movie.... The Movie came to an End.

A bit disturbed and annoyed with what he saw, Banta told himself, "Thank God it was just a movie and not reality."

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... .
Santa & Banta were fighting after exam.

Sir: Y r u fighting?

Santa : This fool left the answer sheet blank,

Sir: So what?

Santa: Even I did the same thing, now teacher will think that we both copied.

 ............ ......... ......... ......... ......... .

Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?

Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta hai jaise usko vapas karne aya hai.

........... ......... ......... ......... ......... .

Wife is a wife..

Ek beemar employee se uski biwi boli - Iss bar koi janwaron ke doctor ko dikhao, tabhi aap theekh hogey…
Pati - Who kyon ?
Biwi - Roz Subah Murge ki tarah jaldi uthh jate ho...
Ghode ki tarah bhag ke office chale jate ho...
Gadhe ki tarah din bhar kaam karte ho...
Lomdi ki tarah idhar-udhar se information batorkar report banatey ho...
Bandar ki tarah boss ke isharon par nachtey ho...
Ghar aakar pariwar par Kutte ki tarah chillatey ho....
Aur fir Bhains ki tarah so jaatey ho.
Insaano ka doctor tumhe kya khakh theekh kar payega...    

Devdoot

एक आदमी एक गली से गुजर रहा था कि अचानक एक आवाज आई - रुको ! रुक जाओ ! अगर तुमने एक कदम भी आगे बढ़ाया तो एक ईंट तुम्हारे सिर पर गिरेगी और तुम मर जाओगे।


आदमी ठिठक कर रुक गया। तभी सनसनाती हुई एक ईंट ठीक उसके आगे आकर गिरी। आदमी ने आवाज देने वाले की तलाश में चारों तरफ देखा पर कोई नजर नहीं आया।


आदमी आगे बढ़ गया। जब वह सड़क पार करने ही वाला था कि वही आवाज एक बार फिर गूंजी - रुक जाओ ! अगर एक कदम भी आगे बढ़ाया तो एक कार तुम्हें कुचल देगी।


आदमी फिर रुक गया। तभी एक कार बेतहाशा भागती हुई लगभग उसे छूती हुई निकल गई। अब आदमी से नहीं रहा गया।


उसने पूछा - कौन हो तुम ?


आवाज आई - मैं आपका सेवक और रक्षक देवदूत हूं । मेरा काम आपको मुसीबतों से बचाना है।


आदमी - ओह! अच्छा ! ...... कम्बख्त तुम उस वक्त कहां मर गए थे जब मेरी शादी हो रही थी ..... 

Kitne Aadmi The

Kitne admi


Gabbar : Kitne admi they?
Sambha : Sardar 2




Gabbar : Mujhe ginti nahin aati, 2 kitne hote hain?
Samba : Sardar 2, 1 ke baad aata hai




Gabbar : Aur 2 ke pehle?
Samba : 2 k pehle 1 aata hai.




Gabbar : To beech mein kaun ata hai?
Samba : Beech mein koi nahi aata




Gabbar : To phir dono ek saath kyun nahin aate?
Samba : 1 k baad hi 2 AA sakta hai, kyun ki 2, 1 se bada hai.




Gabar : 2, 1 se kitna bada hai?
Samba : 2, 1 se 1 bada hai.




Gabbar : Agar 2, 1 se 1 bada hai to 1, 1 se kitna bada hai?
Samnba : Sardar Maine aapka namak khaya hai, mujhe goli maar do..

=====================
Hum Milan Karatey Hai
Hum Giray Huyay Ko Uthatay Hain
Hum Bichroon Hoon Ko Milatay Hain
Kiyun K Hum
.
.
Bra Banaate Hain, Hum Bra Banaate Hain
~~~~~~~~~
Suraj bana to badal bane
Chand bana to tare bane
Husn bana to diwane bane
Kuch to hai baat aap me
Yuhi nahi pagalkhane bane...
~~~~~~~~~
Son: kal daddy ke office room se PRAYER karne ki awaaz AA rahi thi


Mom: pray karna to achhi baat hai


Son: daddy to chup they, unki secreatry chilla rahi thi "Oh God Oh  God"
~~~~~~~~~
Dil k dard ko zuba par laate nahi,
Hum apni aankhon se ansu bahate nahi,
Zakhm chahe kitne hi gahre kyo na ho,
Hum "DETTOL" k Siva kuch laagate nahi.
~~~~~~~~~

Problem

Patient: mujhe problem hai. Na khaon to bhook lagti hai, na sou to neend aati hai, zyada kaam kar ke thak jata hoon.
Doctor : sari raat dhoop main baitho theek ho jao gaye.
~~~~~~~~~
Sardar ji was buying ticket on every station.
Friend: why don't u buy 1 ticket for the whole trip?
Sardar ji: my doctor told me not to take long trips.
~~~~~~~~~
Sardar: tere result DA ki banya?
Pappu: madam kendi is class vich 1 saal hor lagana hai.
Sardar: phir theek hai, saal chahe 2,3 hor lag jayn, bas fail na hona.
~~~~~~~~~
Vo reshmi baalo
Vo reshmi baalo vali,
Bhuri aankho vali,
Komal hatho or naram pairo vali,
Matakti hui andhere mein,
Tumhare pass aayegi aur dhire se,
Bolegi.., "Miyaaau"…
............ ......... ......... ......... ....
Abe khajur,
Zoo se bhage hue langur,
Abe sade hue kele ke chilke,
Chuse hue am,
Circus ke retired bandar,
Aisa kisi ko na kehna,
Feel hota hai!
........... ......... ......... ......... ....
Jahan Dosti hain Wahan Pyaar hain,
Jahan Pyaar hain Waha Ishq hai,
Jahan Ishq hain Wahan Mohabbat,
Jahan Mohabbat hain Wahan Judaai,
Jahan Judaai wahan Dard,
Jahan Dard wahan ZANDU Balm!
............ ......... ......... ......... ....
Chand pe ghata chaati to hogi,
Sitaroon ko bhi neend aati to hogi...
Tum lakh chupao duniya se magar,
Akele me apni surat pe hansi aati to hogi....
............ ......... ......... ......... ....
Kaisi biwi
Father: Tumhe kaisi biwi chahiye?
Son: Mujhe chand jai si biwi chahiye, Jo raat ko aaye aur subha chali jaye!
............ ......... ......... ......
Teacher:" What is your name?".
Student: " Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai."
Teacher:" When I ask a question in English, answer it in English."
Student:" My name is Sunlight
............ ......... ......... ......
Bhikari: sahab ek rupiya de do.
Sahab: tumhe sharam nahi aati, road par khade hokar bhikh mangte.
Bhikari: abe tere ek rupiye ke liye office kholu kya
............ ......... ......... ......
Wife: kaash main newspaper hoti din bhar tumhare hathon me rehti.
Hus: meri bhi yahi dua hai rab se issi bahane her din nayi nayi to milti.
............ ......... ......... ......
Munabai-Are, Yar ye barish ke waqt bijali Q chamakti hain?
Circit-Bhai, Bole to uparwala torch mar ke dekhta hoga ki,
Sala koi NANGA to nahi naha raha..
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ******
Santa: Main Ne SANIA MIRZA
Se Phone Par Baat Ki..
Banta: That’s Great Yaar..
Uss Ne Kya Kaha..??
Santa: Uss Ne Kaha..
Sorry
Wrong Number..
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bandar ki Beti Apne Bap se Boli Papa Papa Mujhe Shadi Karni Hai.
Beta thoda intazar karo kyonki.
Dulha Abhi SMS Read Kar Raha hai.
............ ......... ............
What's Ford?
Santa: Gadi.
What's Oxford?
Santa: So simple, Bail Gadi.
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* **

Flirt

Is duniya me flirt ki koi kami nahi...
Suraj ko hi dekhlo,
Wo aata hai Usha ke sath,
Jata Sandhya ke sath,
Sota Nisha ke sath,
Aur uthta Kiran ke sath...
~~~~~~~~~
Pathan's wife: Jaan ek puppy do na.
Pathan: kocha! Ghar main khaanay k liye paisa nahi hai, aur tujhe kuttay ka bacha chahiye.
~~~~~~~~~
Ek Pathan ke pass blank message aya,
Pathan us number pe phone kar k bola. :"tum ko pata hai yara, tumhare mobile ka ink khatam ho gaya hai."
~~~~~~~~~
Wife: suniye g aap ka dost galat ladki se shaadi kar raha hai. Aap usse rokte kyon nahi?
Husband: main kyon rokon? Us NE mujhe roka tha kya.
~~~~~~~~~


Girl's excuses:
Phone mat kiya karo dear,
mom hoti hai near,
papa se lagta hai fear,
baat nahin hoti hai clear
Isliye SMS kiya karo dear
without fear n very clear
***************
Q: Agar do pipal ke Pedon ko ek rassi se
baandh diya jaye to us rassi ko kya kahenge?
A: Us rassi ko bolengey NOKIA - Connecting pipal
***************
Ek yug tha jab log apne ghar ke dwar pe
likhte the: ATITHI DEVO BHAVA
Phir likha: SHUBH LABH
Phir likhne lage: U R WELCOME
Aur ab likhte hain: KUTTON SE SAVDHAN
***************
Khuda kare tujhe khushiyan hazaar mile,
mujhse bhi achche yaar mile,
meri girlfriend tujhe raakhi baandhe
aur tujhe ek aur behan ka pyar mile
***************
It takes 15 trees to produce the amount of paper
that we use to write one exam.
Join us in promoting the noble cause
of saving trees. SAY NO TO EXAMS
***************
Ek ladka ek ladki k saath baitha tha.
2nd day doosri ladki k saath dekha gaya.
3rd day koi aur ladki thi.
4th day kisi nayi ladki ke saath tha
Moral: Ladkiyan badal jaati hain, ladke nahin badaltey
***************
Angry boss: Tumne kabhi Ullu dekha hai?
Executive (sar jhukate hue): Nahin sir.
Boss: Niche kya dekh rahe ho ? Meri taraf dekho.
***************

In art gallery
In art gallery : couple sees picture of a girl covered by leaf.
Husband keet watching her.
Wife : ab chaloge bhi ya Hawa k aane ka intezar karte raho gey?
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ...
Sardar sharab peeta ro raha tha.
Sharab wala : kyon ro rahe ho?
Sardar : aur kya karoon? Main jis ladki ka naam bhulana chata hoon. Us ka naam yaad hi nahi aa raha.
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ...
Wife : I will die.
Husband : I will also die.
Wife : why do u want to die?
Husband : because main itni khushi bardasht nahi kar sakta.
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ...
Maa: beti tum sari raat kahan thi?
Beti: main sari raat apne boy friend ke saath thi.
Maa: to kar aayee apna muh kala.
Beti: to kya hua fair & lovely hai na.

Message

Msg na karke dil tod diya
Msg na karke dil tod diya mera,
Ab mobile dafna dena,
Kafan na mile to apna rumal udha dena,
Koi puchhe rog kya tha,
To nazre jhuka k apni Kanjusi bata dena.
............ ......... ..................... ......... ..
JAB BHI KANJUSI mein OSCAR KA NOMINATION AAYEGA,
TERA NAAM BHI USME ZARUR AAYEGA,
AGAR YE PADKAR BHI TUNE REPLY NAHI KIYA,
TO PEHLA PRIZE BHI TUZE MIL JAAYEGA.
............ ......... ..................... ......... ..
Tharo SMS jab jab aavay hai
Maro rom rom machal jawe hai
Ang ang mein gud gudi howe hai
Tharo SMS ka nahee kasoor
Maro mobile vibration pe howe he.
............ ......... ..................... ......... ..
Yaar meri biwi
1st Man: Yaar meri biwi mere dost ke sath bhaag gayi. 
2nd Man : Uski yaad aati hogi naa. 
1st Man: Haa yaar.. Bahut acha dost tha! 
............ ......... ......... ......... ......
Osama to Amitab : How are you? 
Amitab : Bas Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gam. Aap Kaise Hain? 
Osama : Bas Kabhi Goli Kabhi Bomb 
............ ......... ......... ......... ......
Likho to paigham kuch aisa likho ki, 
Kalam bhi rone pe majboor ho jaye, 
Har lafj me dard bhar do itna ki, 
Examinar bhi 35 marks dene par majboor ho jaye.....
............ ......... ......... ......... ......
Baith kar unki julfon ke saye me, 
Swarg jaisa anand aaya,
Kambakhat uske baap ne dekh liya, 
Shaam ko hospital me hi hosh aaya.
............ ......... ......... ......... ......

School
Teacher - Ramu, kal class mein kyun nahi aaye the?
Ramu - Gir gaya tha or lag gayi thi.
Teacher - Kidher gir gaye the or kidher lag gayi thi?
Ramu - Char paaye pe gir gaya tha aur ankhe lag gayi thi.
............ ......... ......... ......... .......
Puri botal na sahi,
Ek jaam to ho jaye,
Milna na sahi dua salam to ho jaye,
Jinki yaad mein hum bimar pade hai
Kam se kam unhe Jukam to ho jaye..
Wah wah wah..
............ ......... ......... ......... .......
Exam ka saya hai. 
Exam ke dino me sukh kisne paaya hai. 
Mom dad kehte hai acche number la.
Par inhe kaun samjhaye ye sab moh maya hai.
............ ......... ......... ......... .......
Dil ke dard ko zuban par laate nahi,
Hum apni aankhon se ansu bahate nahi,
Zakhm chahe kitne hi gahre kyo na ho,
Hum DETTOL k siva kuch laagate nahi.
............ ......... ......... ......... .......

Boyfriend before marriage
Husband asked his newly married wife, she had any boyfriend before marriage?
Wife: silent
He said, main is khamoshi ko kiya samjhon?
Wife replied: Kamine! Gin nay to do
............ ......... ......... ......... ...
Sardar by mistake goes into ladies toilet, all ladies suddenly stand up!
Sardar: izzat dil mai ho bus yahi kafi hota hai, Betho Betho
............ ......... ......... ......... ...
Hathi aur chinti ka prem vivah hua,
Dusre din hathi mar gaya,
Cheenti boli "wah re mohabbat"
Ek din ka pyar mila,
Aur sari umar kabar khodne ka kaam mila
............ ......... ......... ......... ...
Ek bar 300 pathan ship main travel kar rahe the,
Lekin sare k sare mar gaye.
Kaise?
Nothing serious.


Ship bich main kharab ho gai.
To dhakka dene niche utar gaye.
............ ......... ......... ......... ...

Tumsa koi doosra zameen par hua,

Toh Rab se shikayat hogi....

Ek toh jhella nahi jaata,

Doosra AA gaya to kya halat hogi!!!

~~~~~~~~~

Sharab sharir ko khatam karti hai

Sharab samaj ko khatam karti hai

Aao aaj is sharab ko khatam karte hai

Ek botal tum khatam karo ek hum khatam karte hai.

~~~~~~~~~

What is the diff. Between dava & daru?

Ans: Dava is like girlfriend that comes with expiry date.

Daru is like WIFE, jitni PURANI hogi UTNA sir CHAD ke bolegi...

~~~~~~~~~

A car on loan

Santa bought a car on loan...
He didn't pay the dues, the bank took away his car.
Santa: If I knew this,
I'd have taken a loan for my marriage also!
............ ......... ......... ......... ......
Translation from Hindi to English,
"Khushi ke mare uski chaati phool gayi".
Santa: Due to happiness, his chest became breast.
............ ......... ......... ......... ......
Santa: Woh ladki kitni sundar hai!
Banta: Mujhe uska naam pata hai.
Santa: Kya naam hai uska?
Banta: Woh bank mein kaam karti hai, uske counter ke upar uska naam likha tha "CHAALU KHAATA"
........... ......... ......... ......... ......
Banta: Wo ladki deaf lagti hai.
Main kuch kehta hoon, woh kuch aur hi bolti hai.
Santa: Kaise?
Banta: Maine kaha I Luv U,
To woh boli 'Maine kal hi Naye Sandal kharide hain'
...............................................
 तूफानी बारिश में संता का 'धक्का'


तूफानी बारिश हो रही थी, आधी रात में संता ने एक घर का दरवाजा खटखटाया और बोला
भाईसाब धक्का लगा दोगे क्या
दरवाजा खोलने आया आदमी नींद में था, उसने मना कर दिया
कुछ देर बाद उस आदमी को  आत्मग्लानि हुई, उसने सोचा यदि कभी मैं रात में फंस गया और किसी ने मदद नहीं की तो क्या होगा
आदमी बाहर आया और आवाज लगाईः तुम हो कहां
संताः पार्क में झूले पर
------------------------------------------------

कारण


औरते आदमीयोंके मुकाबले अच्छा, शांत और लंबा आयुष्य व्यतीत करती है ... इसका क्या कारण होगा ?
एक बुध्दीमान सरदारजीने झटसे जवाब दिया - क्योंकी उन्हे बीवीयां नही होती.
-----------------------------------------------



............ ......... ......... ......... .....

Smile

Q1. Harbhajan ask's Kumble to bring a Pepsi... Kumble brings a bottle of Pepsi but goes directly to Shehwag.? Why ?? Why ?? :-)
Ans:- Shehwag is an opener




Q2. Woh kya hai Jo Dil mein hain, Mann mein hai par Dhadkan mein nahi?
Ans:- aarey Aamir Khan !!!!!!!




Q3. What will! U call a person who is leaving India ??
Socho....... ........
Ans:- Hindustan Lever (Leaver).




Q4. Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha us ka naam kya tha?
Ans:- Adidas




Q5. Luv and Kush are going to a village & in between comes a well.
Luv falls into the well. Why ?
Ans:- Because Luv is blind!!!!!




Q.6 Now Kush also jumps inside. Why? OK lot's of head scratching done.
Ans:- Luv ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!!!!




Q 7. Jackie Chan ki saas ka naam kya hai?.. Nahi pata..??
Ans:- D'Cold chain ki saans
HOPE U LIKE IT !!!!!!!

Short and Sweet

Janu meri blouse utaro


Wife to her husband: janu meri blouse utaro..


AB aisa karo mera ghaghra bhi utaro.


Aur khabardar Jo aaj ke baad mere kapde pehne to
~~~~~~~~~
Old Man-"puttar ander se mere daant le aa"


Pota-"par dada ji abhi roti to bani nahin"


Budda-- "o nahi puttar roti nahi khani samne wali buddhi nu smile deni hai "
~~~~~~~~~
Child: Mom is bar hum sare patakhe is shop se lengey,


Mom : lekin beta yeh to girls hostel hai,


Child: Papa to kehte hain ke sari phul-jhadiyan yahin rahti hain.
~~~~~~~~~
Ek ladke ko kya chahiye?


Ek ladki Jo pyar de,
Ek ladki Jo achcha khana banaye,
Ek ladki Jo us ki khoob khidmat kare,


Aur yeh teeno larkiyan mil jul kar rahein

~~~~~~~~~

Be smart....pick your doctor smartly !

बहुत दिनों से बीमार एक कर्मचारी की पत्नि बोली:

इस बार जानवरों के डॉक्टर को दिखाओ तभी ठीक हो पाओगे.

पति: वो क्यों?

बीवी: रोज़ सुबह *मुर्गे *की तरह जल्दी उठ जाते हो

*घोड़े* की तरह जल्दी ऑफिस चले जाते हो

*गधे* की तरह दिन भर काम करते हो

*लोमड़ी* की तरह इधर उधर से information बटोर कर report बनाते हो

*बन्दर *की तरह बॉस के इशारे पर नाचते हो

घर आकर परिवार पर *कुत्ते* की तरह चिल्लाते हो

*सुअर* की तरह खाने पर टूट पड़ते हो

और फिर *भैंस *की तरह सो जाते हो

इंसानों का डॉक्टर क्या खाक तुम्हें ठीक कर पाएगा !!

Kapil Sibbal and a puppy !!!

"Ek baar Kapil Sibbal ki car ke neeche 1 chota "Puppy" aa ke mar gaya.

Sibbal ne driver se kaha ki is ke maalik ka Pata Karo.

Driver malik ko dhoondne chala gaya.

Jab wapis aaya to us ke gale mein bahut si phooloon ki malaayein thi.

Sibbal: Yeh kya hai ?

Driver: Sir logon ne meri puri baat hi nahin suni aur khushi mein itne saare haar dal diye … Maine sirf yeh hi kaha tha ki ….. "main Kapil Sibbal ka driver hoon … Kutte ka Bachcha mar gaya hai."

एक बार कपिल सिब्बल की कार के नीचे एक छोटा "पप्पी" आ के मर गया

सिब्बल ने अपने ड्राईवर से कहा की इस के मालिक का पता करो

ड्राईवर मालिक को ढूँढने चला गया

जब वापिस आया तो उस के गले में बहुत सी फूलों की मालाएं थी

सिब्बल : ये क्या है ?

ड्राईवर : सर लोगों ने मेरी पूरी बात ही नहीं सुनी और ख़ुशी में इतने सारे हार दाल दिए ........मैंने तो सिर्फ ये ही कहा था की ........................."मैं कपिल सिब्बल का ड्राईवर हूँ .............कुत्ते का बच्चा मर गया है "

Kitne admi the

Gabbar : Kitne admi they?

Sambha : Sardar 2

Gabbar : Mujhe ginti nahin aati, 2 kitne hote hain?

Samba : Sardar 2, 1 ke baad aata hai

Gabbar : Aur 2 ke pehle?

Samba : 2 k pehle 1 aata hai.

Gabbar : To beech mein kaun ata hai?

Samba : Beech mein koi nahi aata

Gabbar : To phir dono ek saath kyun nahin aate?

Samba : 1 k baad hi 2 AA sakta hai, kyun ki 2, 1 se bada hai.

Gabar : 2, 1 se kitna bada hai?

Samba : 2, 1 se 1 bada hai.

Gabbar : Agar 2, 1 se 1 bada hai to 1, 1 se kitna bada hai?

Samba : Sardar Maine aapka namak khaya hai, mujhe goli maar do..

Shaadi Ke Pehle Aur Baad

Shaadi ke pehle - Agar Tum Na Hote :(

Shaadi ke baad - Agar Tum Na Hote :)

Shaadi ke pehle - Maine Pyar Kiya :)

Shaadi ke baad - Ye Maine Kya Kiya? :(

Shaadi ke pehle - Kuch Kuch Hota Hai :)

Shaadi ke baad - Kuch Nahi Hota Hai :(

Shaadi ke pehle - Dil To Pagal Hai :)

Shaadi ke baad - Dil To Pagal Tha :(

Shaadi ke pehle - Ek Duje Ke Liye :)

Shaadi ke baad - Sirf Bachcho Ke Liye :(

Shaadi ke pehle - Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge :)

Shaadi ke baad - Baaki Log Sukhi Ho Jayenge :(

Shaadi ke pehle - Chandramukhi :)

Shaadi ke baad - Jwaalamukhi :(

Shaadi ke pehle - Kuwara Baap :)

Shaadi ke baad - Bechara Baap :(

Shaadi ke pehle - Titanic :)

Shaadi ke baad - Mortgage :(

Shaadi ke pehle - Hum Aapke Hai Koun? :)

Shaadi ke baad - Barbadi Ka Kaaran :(

Shaadi ke pehle - Yes Boss :)

Shaadi ke baad - Yes Boss :(

Shaadi ke pehle - Mere Sapno Ki Rani :)

Shaadi ke baad - Chutki Ki Amma :(

Shaadi ke pehle - Kabhi Kabhi :)

Shaadi ke baad - If you are lucky :(

Shaadi ke pehle - Aao Pyar Karen :)

Shaadi ke baad - Aur Bhi Kuch Kaam Karen? :(

Shaadi ke pehle - Hum Apke Hain :)

Shaadi he baad - Hum Apke Hai Koun? :(

Ekdum Filmy love letter

When I am: Kareeb

There is only: Khamoshi

I want to speak: Dil Se

That's my kind of: Ishq

I want this to be: Gupt

As I always have: Darr

That I will loose you: Sajani

And that would be great: Sadma

I am your: Mr.Aashique

But sometimes bit: Deewana

Tell me: Hum Aapke Hain Kaun

As I feel : Kuch Kuch Hota Hai

In this : Duniya Dilwalon Ki

I told you: Maine Pyar Kiya

May be : Dil To Pagal Hai

Because: Jab Pyar Kisise Hota Hai

The whole world appears as: Dushman

But anyway: Pyar To Hona Hi Tha

TIME TO LAUGH

1)what is the cube of 13?

Its : SUROOR

Wondering how?

That's bcoz....

TERA * TERA * TERA = SUROOR

2) ek aadmi k 6 fingers thi,use log hanuman bulate the...batao kyon?

Kyonki uska naam hanuman tha..

3) who was the 1st Indian woman fly abroad?

..........sita with ravan

4) wht did the kangaroo say when she found her baby missing?

.......Aaila! !!!! Kisne mera pocket maar liya

5) what do u call a really colourful tamilian???

Ans: Rangamannar rangrajan

6) An elephant falls in luv with n Ant.but Ant's parents r against their marrige...guess y??

They gave a solid reason...**Ladke k daant bahar hain **

7) ones sardarji saw a very soni kudi in the market & thought..

......kash k ye meri maa hondi to main v inna sona Honda..

8) Full form of MATHS?

Mentally Affected Teacher Harassing Students...

9) what wud u call a girl who never laughs??

Ans: hasi-na

Funny Rikshaw lines in Pakistan

# Maalik Ki Gaadi Driver Ka Paseena - Chalti Hai Road Par Ban Kar Haseena

# Buri Nazar Wale, Tera Moonh Kala

# Mera Pakistan Mahan (Lekin Janta Pareshan)

# Qismat Aazma Chuka, Muqadar Aazma Raha Hoon - Aik Baywafa Kay Khatir Riksha Chala Raha Hoon

# Chandni Raat Beeti Jaa Rahi Hai - Ullu Ki Patthi, Too Ab A Rahi Hai

# Kabhee Side Say Aatee Ho Kabhee Peechay Say Aatee Ho - Meree Jaan Horn De De Kar Mujhay Tum Kyon Satateey Ho

# Maan Ki Dua Jannat Ki Hawa - Maan Ki Bud-Dua Ja Beta Rickshaw Chala

# Pappu Yaar Tang Na Kar!

# Zehreeli Nagan

# Koi Jal Gaya, Kisi Ne Dua Di

# Quaid-E-Azam Nay Farmaya - Tu Chal, Main Aayaa

# Dekho Magar Pyar Se!

# Hosh Ker Kherghosh

# Wo Dekho Mastani Ja Rahi Hay

# Khuda Keray Haseenoo Ke Baap Mar Jeyeen - Maut Ka Bahana Ho Hum Un Ke Ghar Jeyeen

# Abey Kambakath Aisa Soochna Bhi Paap Hoga - Kissi Rooz Tu Bhi Kissi Haseen Ka Baap Hoga

Aarti Shri Google Maharaj

Om Jai Google Hare !!

Swami Jai Google hare

Programmers ke sankat, Developers ke Sankat,

Click main door kare!!

Om Jai Google Hare !!

Jo Dhyawe vo pawe,

Dukh bin se man ka, Swami dukh bin se man ka,

Homepage ki sampatti lawe, Homework ki sampatti karave

Kasht mite work ka,

Swami Om Jai Google hare!!

Tum puran search engine

Tum hi Internet yaami, Swami Tum hi Internet yaami

Par karo hamari Salari, Par karo hamari apprisal,

Tum dunia ke swami,

Swami Om Jai Google hare.

Tum information ke saagar,

Tum palan karta, swami Tum palan karta,

Main moorakh khalkamii, Main Searcher tum Server-ami

Tum karta dhartaa !!

Swami Om Jai Google hare!!

Din bandhu dukh harta,

Tum rakshak mere, Swami tum thakur mere,

Apni search dikhaao, sare reasearch karao

Site par khada mein tere,

Swami Om Jai Google hare!!

Google devta ki aarti Jo koi programmer gaawe,

Swami Jo koi bhi programmer gaawe,

Kehet SUN swami, MS Hari har swami,

Manwaanchhit fal paawe.

Swami Om Jai Google hare.

PUNJABI LOVE LETTER

Dear meri dil ki katori,

Mai kya ji, it was ji very well since the time I put my eyes on you at Bunty's wedding.

The parrots flew out of my hands, when u turned like a truck on a blind curve and smiled at me.

Now I see ur face everywhere, even in my chicken-curry. The butter chicken reminds me your sweet voice.

Mai kya ji, would you be the butter on my naan and the chicken in my curry of life....!!!!

Koi gal nahi, take ur time but don't put the foot on the Brakes of my love ji.

What to do, I to have started thinking about Shaadi-Vaadi. Karao maat wait, say yes for a date!

Balle Balle ......

Performance Pressure !

Poultry farm ke malik NE tammam Murgiyon ko Order diya

"Agar tum logon NE kal se Do -- Do ande nahi diye to kal se tumhara Dana pani band "

Murgiya Dar gayi ....sab NE do do ande diye magar ek NE sirf ek anda diya "

Malik "tum NE 1 anda hi kyon diya "

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Jawab mila

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"Sir ye aapke Dar ki wajah se diya hai waise main to Murga hoon"