Showing posts with label funny shayari. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny shayari. Show all posts

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Problem



Patient: mujhe problem hai. Na khaon to bhook lagti hai, na sou to neend aati hai, zyada kaam kar ke thak jata hoon.
Doctor : sari raat dhoop main baitho theek ho jao gaye.
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Sardar ji was buying ticket on every station.
Friend: why don't u buy 1 ticket for the whole trip?
Sardar ji: my doctor told me not to take long trips.
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Sardar: tere result DA ki banya?
Pappu: madam kendi is class vich 1 saal hor lagana hai.
Sardar: phir theek hai, saal chahe 2,3 hor lag jayn, bas fail na hona.
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Vo reshmi baalo
Vo reshmi baalo vali,
Bhuri aankho vali,
Komal hatho or naram pairo vali,
Matakti hui andhere mein,
Tumhare pass aayegi aur dhire se,
Bolegi.., "Miyaaau"…
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Abe khajur,
Zoo se bhage hue langur,
Abe sade hue kele ke chilke,
Chuse hue am,
Circus ke retired bandar,
Aisa kisi ko na kehna,
Feel hota hai!
........... ......... ......... ......... ....
Jahan Dosti hain Wahan Pyaar hain,
Jahan Pyaar hain Waha Ishq hai,
Jahan Ishq hain Wahan Mohabbat,
Jahan Mohabbat hain Wahan Judaai,
Jahan Judaai wahan Dard,
Jahan Dard wahan ZANDU Balm!
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Chand pe ghata chaati to hogi,
Sitaroon ko bhi neend aati to hogi...
Tum lakh chupao duniya se magar,
Akele me apni surat pe hansi aati to hogi....
............ ......... ......... ......... ....
Kaisi biwi
Father: Tumhe kaisi biwi chahiye?
Son: Mujhe chand jai si biwi chahiye, Jo raat ko aaye aur subha chali jaye!
............ ......... ......... ......
Teacher:" What is your name?".
Student: " Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai."
Teacher:" When I ask a question in English, answer it in English."
Student:" My name is Sunlight
............ ......... ......... ......
Bhikari: sahab ek rupiya de do.
Sahab: tumhe sharam nahi aati, road par khade hokar bhikh mangte.
Bhikari: abe tere ek rupiye ke liye office kholu kya
............ ......... ......... ......
Wife: kaash main newspaper hoti din bhar tumhare hathon me rehti.
Hus: meri bhi yahi dua hai rab se issi bahane her din nayi nayi to milti.
............ ......... ......... ......
Munabai-Are, Yar ye barish ke waqt bijali Q chamakti hain?
Circit-Bhai, Bole to uparwala torch mar ke dekhta hoga ki,
Sala koi NANGA to nahi naha raha..
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Santa: Main Ne SANIA MIRZA
Se Phone Par Baat Ki..
Banta: That’s Great Yaar..
Uss Ne Kya Kaha..??
Santa: Uss Ne Kaha..
Sorry
Wrong Number..
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Bandar ki Beti Apne Bap se Boli Papa Papa Mujhe Shadi Karni Hai.
Beta thoda intazar karo kyonki.
Dulha Abhi SMS Read Kar Raha hai.
............ ......... ............
What's Ford?
Santa: Gadi.
What's Oxford?
Santa: So simple, Bail Gadi.
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* **

Message



Msg na karke dil tod diya
Msg na karke dil tod diya mera,
Ab mobile dafna dena,
Kafan na mile to apna rumal udha dena,
Koi puchhe rog kya tha,
To nazre jhuka k apni Kanjusi bata dena.
............ ......... ..................... ......... ..
JAB BHI KANJUSI mein OSCAR KA NOMINATION AAYEGA,
TERA NAAM BHI USME ZARUR AAYEGA,
AGAR YE PADKAR BHI TUNE REPLY NAHI KIYA,
TO PEHLA PRIZE BHI TUZE MIL JAAYEGA.
............ ......... ..................... ......... ..
Tharo SMS jab jab aavay hai
Maro rom rom machal jawe hai
Ang ang mein gud gudi howe hai
Tharo SMS ka nahee kasoor
Maro mobile vibration pe howe he.
............ ......... ..................... ......... ..
Yaar meri biwi
1st Man: Yaar meri biwi mere dost ke sath bhaag gayi. 
2nd Man : Uski yaad aati hogi naa. 
1st Man: Haa yaar.. Bahut acha dost tha! 
............ ......... ......... ......... ......
Osama to Amitab : How are you? 
Amitab : Bas Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gam. Aap Kaise Hain? 
Osama : Bas Kabhi Goli Kabhi Bomb 
............ ......... ......... ......... ......
Likho to paigham kuch aisa likho ki, 
Kalam bhi rone pe majboor ho jaye, 
Har lafj me dard bhar do itna ki, 
Examinar bhi 35 marks dene par majboor ho jaye.....
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Baith kar unki julfon ke saye me, 
Swarg jaisa anand aaya,
Kambakhat uske baap ne dekh liya, 
Shaam ko hospital me hi hosh aaya.
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School
Teacher - Ramu, kal class mein kyun nahi aaye the?
Ramu - Gir gaya tha or lag gayi thi.
Teacher - Kidher gir gaye the or kidher lag gayi thi?
Ramu - Char paaye pe gir gaya tha aur ankhe lag gayi thi.
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Puri botal na sahi,
Ek jaam to ho jaye,
Milna na sahi dua salam to ho jaye,
Jinki yaad mein hum bimar pade hai
Kam se kam unhe Jukam to ho jaye..
Wah wah wah..
............ ......... ......... ......... .......
Exam ka saya hai. 
Exam ke dino me sukh kisne paaya hai. 
Mom dad kehte hai acche number la.
Par inhe kaun samjhaye ye sab moh maya hai.
............ ......... ......... ......... .......
Dil ke dard ko zuban par laate nahi,
Hum apni aankhon se ansu bahate nahi,
Zakhm chahe kitne hi gahre kyo na ho,
Hum DETTOL k siva kuch laagate nahi.
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Boyfriend before marriage
Husband asked his newly married wife, she had any boyfriend before marriage?
Wife: silent
He said, main is khamoshi ko kiya samjhon?
Wife replied: Kamine! Gin nay to do
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Sardar by mistake goes into ladies toilet, all ladies suddenly stand up!
Sardar: izzat dil mai ho bus yahi kafi hota hai, Betho Betho
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Hathi aur chinti ka prem vivah hua,
Dusre din hathi mar gaya,
Cheenti boli "wah re mohabbat"
Ek din ka pyar mila,
Aur sari umar kabar khodne ka kaam mila
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Ek bar 300 pathan ship main travel kar rahe the,
Lekin sare k sare mar gaye.
Kaise?
Nothing serious.


Ship bich main kharab ho gai.
To dhakka dene niche utar gaye.
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Tumsa koi doosra zameen par hua,
Toh Rab se shikayat hogi....
Ek toh jhella nahi jaata,
Doosra AA gaya to kya halat hogi!!!
~~~~~~~~~
Sharab sharir ko khatam karti hai
Sharab samaj ko khatam karti hai
Aao aaj is sharab ko khatam karte hai
Ek botal tum khatam karo ek hum khatam karte hai.
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What is the diff. Between dava & daru?
Ans: Dava is like girlfriend that comes with expiry date.
Daru is like WIFE, jitni PURANI hogi UTNA sir CHAD ke bolegi...
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