Management Decision

Once SONIA GANDHI, L.K.  Advani  and Laloo Prasad Yadav were  travelling in an autorickshaw. They met with an accident and all three of them died. 

Yama Raja was waiting for this moment at the doorstep of death. 

He asks Mrs GANDHI and Advani to go to HEAVEN. 

But, for Laloo, Yama had already decided that he should be sent to HELL. Laloo is not at all happy with this decision. 

He asks Yama as to why this discrimination is being made. All three of them had served the public. Similarly, all took bribes, all misused public positions, etc. 

Then why the differential treatment? 

He felt that there should be a formal test or an objective evaluation before a decision is made; and should not be just based on opinion or pre-conceived notions. 

Yama agrees to this and asks all the three of them to appear for an English test. 

Mrs GANDHI is asked to spell " INDIA " and she does it correctly. 

Advani is asked to spell " ENGLAND " and he too passes. 

It is Laloo's turn and he is asked to spell " CZECHOSLOVAKIA ". 

Laloo protests that he doesn't know English. 

He says this is not fair and that he was given a tough question and thus forced to fail with false intent. 

Yama then agrees to conduct a written test in Hindi (to give another chance assuming that Laloo should at least feel that Hindi would provide an equal platform for all three). 

Mrs GANDHI is asked to write "KUTTA BOLA BHOW BHOW". She writes it easily and passes. 

Advani is asked to write "BILLY BOLI MYAUN MYAUN". He too passes. 

Laloo is asked to write "BANDAR BOLA GURRRRRR....." 
Tough one. He fails again. 

Laloo is extremely unhappy. 

Having been a student of history (which the other two weren't),he now requested for all the 3 to be subjected to a test in history 

Yama says OK but this would be the last chance and that he would not take any more tests. 

Mrs GANDHI is asked: "When did India get Independence ?". She replied "1947" and passed. 

Advani is asked "How many people died during the independence struggle?". 

He gets nervous. Yama asked him to choose from 3 options: 100,000 or 200,000 or 300,000. 
Advani catches it and says 200,000 and passes. 

It's Laloo's turn now. 
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Yama asks him to give the Name and Address of each of the 200,000 who died in the struggle. 
Laloo accepts defeat and agrees to go to HELL. 

Moral of the story:
 IF YOUR MANAGEMENT HAS DECIDED TO SCREW YOU, THERE IS NO ESCAPE. ....

Lalloo Jokes

* Once Laloo was coming out of Airport. As there was huge rush the security

guard told Laloo "WAIT SIR" for which Laloo replied "65Kgs" and moved on...

* Once Laloo wanted to know the time difference between Bihar and Las

Vegas. So he called up the Tourist department and asked them "Ji could you

tell me the time difference between Patna and Las Begas...". The man at the

other end replies "One second sir..." and Laloo immediately replies "thank

you" and puts the phone down.

* Laloos family planning policy..

"Don't have more than two children in one year"

* At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the bartender,

"JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." & the man's companion says, "JACK DANIELS,

SINGLE." The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?" Laloo

replies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED."

* After having become the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to pose for a picture.

To show he is down to earth CM he decides to pose along with a herd of

buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of the cattle he poses for the

photo. Next day the photo appears front page of a newspaper. GUESS THE

CAPTION "Laloo, third from left"

* Laloo Prasad Yadav was hosting a Japanese Delegation for Business

Development to Bihar. The Japanese Embssary was quite impressed with Bihar

and he stated, "Bihar is an excellent state. Give us three years and we

will turn it into an economic superpower like Japan." Laloo was very

surprised. "You Japanese are very inepicient," he stated "Give me three

days and I will turn Japan into Bihar"

* A reporter asked Laloo "What is the main reason for a divorce ?"

"Marriage"

* Laloo returns from a US tour. As he completes his press conference and is

about to leave, he goes, "I would like to thank the president of the United

States from the bottom of my heart and my wife's bottom too"