SARDAR JOKES-1

Sardar : My mobile bill how much?


Call Centre Girl : Sir, just dial 123 to know current bill status


Sardar : Stupid, not CURRENT BILL MY MOBILE BILL.


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Friend : I got a brand new Ford IKON for my wife!


Sardar : Wow!!! That's an unbelievable exchange offer!!!


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Judge : Don't U have shame? It is d 3rd time U R coming to court..


Sardar to judge : U R coming daily, don't U have shame?


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Question  : "Should Women have Children after 35?"


Smart Sardar Replied : "No!


35 Children R More than Enough!!"


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Sardar attending an interview in Software Company.


Manager : Do U know MS Office?


Sardar : If U give me the address I will go there sir.


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Sardar got a sms from his girl friend: "I MISS YOU"


Sardarji replied: "I Mr YOU" !!.


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After finishing MBBS Sardar started his practice. He Checked 1st Patient's


Eyes, Tongue & Ears By Torch & Finallly Said:


"Torch is okay"


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Sardar1: Oye, what will happen if electricity is not discovered?


Sardar2: Nothing, we must watch TV in candle light.


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Sardar in airplane going 2 Bombay .... While its landing he shouted: " Bombay


... Bombay "


Air hostess said : "B silent."


Sardar : "Ok.. Ombay. Ombay"


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Teacher: "What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA , RAM, GANDHI and BUDHA?"


Sardar: "All are born on government holidays...! !!


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Sir : What is difference between Orange and Apple?


Sardar : Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE 

Sardarjiiii tusi great ho ji!!!!!!!!!!!!

Santa :  I am a proud Sardar, my son is in Medical College .
Banta :  Really, what is he studying,
Santa :  No he is not studying, they are studying him.
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 What is common between : Krishna , Ram, Gandhiji & Jesus..?
Sardar ji Replied :  All are born on Government Holidays.
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 Santa falls in love with a nurse...after much
thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her:  "I love you sister."
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 Pappu, while filling up a form:  "Dad, what should I write for mother tongue"?
Santa:  "Very long""!
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 Santa went out to buy an Indian flag.
The shop owner gave him the flag.
Guess what did he ask next...  Ismein aur colour dikhayiye".
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Santa went to battery shop and asked to change the battery.
The shopkeeper asked:  "Exide laga du?"
Santa:  "Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?"
************ ********* ********* ********* *********
Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge:  What'll you take - 30 days or Rs 3000?
Santa: I think I'll take the money.
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Q:  How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in school?
A:  He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.
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Q:  A Man asked Santa:  "Akal badi ya bhains? "
A: Santa bola:  "Pehle date of birth to batao."
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Q:  Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?
A:   Because it was an entrance exam.
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What's Ford?
Santa:  Gaadi.
What's Oxford ?
Santa:  So simple, Bail Gaadi
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Santa:  My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.
Banta:  He probably got a lot of applause when he got out.
Santa:  I didn't say he got out.
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Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever - "What comes first - the chicken or the egg?"
"O yaar,  jiska order pehle doge,  vo ayega"!
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Santa (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?"
Banta:  "Why don't you use a mouth wash?"

SARDAR JOKES

Train mein ek husband apni wife say: "tujh say shadi kar ke pachta raha hoon."

"dil karta hai tujhe kuttay ke aagay daal doon"

Samnay wala passenger bola: "bhao bhao"
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Wife : mere iraday bare nek hain, aap hazaaron mein ek hain.

Sardar : mera deemag bara tez hai, pehlay yeh bata baki 999 kaun hain?
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Sardar looked himself in mirror and said:
Is ko kahin dekha hai. Then he said:

Oye yaad aya, yeh to wohi kamina hai jo
Shaadi ki album mein meri biwi ke saath hai

Meaning of WIFE

Three friends, one Bengali, one Punjabi and one Tamil were travelling in train. After discussing many more things - one of the friends asked, " Now please let us discuss - What is the meaning of WIFE ?"

First turn to tell the meaning of wife was Bengali. The Bengali started," Wife is like a book. Read it, read it; when you fed up keep aside it."

Next turn was of Tamilian. The Tamilian started, "Wife is like a rose. Smell it, smell it; when you fed up. Throw it".

Third and last turn was of Punjabi, "Wife is like a casette. Listen it, listen it; when you are fed up, reverse it".

Evolution of man

Evolution of man:

Without shaadi Spiderman

Shaadi k din superman

Shaadi k baad Gentleman

Aur

B.V khobsurat hoto sari umar watchman.

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Neighbour to sardar: " Raat nu teri khirki khuli is, I enjoyed full scene u did with bhabhi".

Sardar: "Ban gaya na pagal, main to raat ghar par tha he nahi".

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Ek Pathan ki behan ko daku utha kar Le gaye,

Sab ne kaha daku khatarnak hain khali haath mat jana behan ko bachane.

Pathan 2 kilo mithayi Le gaya.

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2007 ka faqir: baji bhoka hoon Allah k waste khana de do.

Baji: abhi khananahi bana, baad main aana.

Faqir: mera number Le lo, jab khana ban jaye to miscall kar dena.

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CHIN YU YAN

Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.

The Chinese friend just says "CHIN YU YAN" and dies.

Sardarji goes to China to find the meaning of his friend's last Words.

And finds It means "U R STANDNG ON the OXYGEN TUBE"

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Man: Sardarji where were U born?

Sardarji: Punjab.

Man: Which part?

Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body Is born in Punjab Yaar

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Ek kabuter NE sardar te bith kar diti,

Sardar : ye teri maa NE tenu kachha pana nai sikhaya?

Kabuter : saaley TU kachha pehen ke karda aein?

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A sardar was drawing money from ATM,

The sardar behind him in the line said,

"Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****)."

The first sardar replies, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! U R wrong, Its 1258"

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Singh Is King

A Sardar, a German and a Pakistani got arrested consuming alcohol

which is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia , so

for the terrible crime they are all sentenced 20 lashes each of the whip.

As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh announced:

"It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow

each of you one wish before your whipping."

The German was first in line; he thought for a while and then said:

"Please tie a pillow to my back."

This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes & the German had

to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.

The Pakistani was next up. After watching the German in horror he said

smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back."

But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes & the Pakistani was

also led away whimpering loudly.

The Sardar was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the

Sheikh turned to him and said:

"You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is

one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"

"Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness," Sardar replied.

"In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me

not 20, but 100 lashes."

"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are

also very brave." The Sheikh said with an admiring look on his face.

"If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it." And what is your

second wish?" the Sheikh asked.

Sardar smiled and said, "Tie the Pakistani to my back" !!!

"SINGH IS KING"

MTV Bakra.. !

Jasmeet Kaur caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low all around his living room.

Jasmeet: 'What are you searching for?'

Santa: 'Hidden cameras!'

Jasmeet: 'And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras here?'

Santa: 'That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing.

Why every few minutes he keeps saying 'You are watching MTV! How does he know that?'

Sardarji in Delhi

Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has a Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower.

Sardarji says "Yes".

"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder ."

The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Sardarji figured he was taken for a ride.

On the next day the Sardarji is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock.

"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."

The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says "I am not a fool. This time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder "

Santa and Banta

Santa and Banta

Santa : Why did the man put his radio in his refrigerator?

Banta : I give up.

Santa : Stupid, because he wanted to hear cool music

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Jasmeet : "Your honor, I want to divorce my husband Santa."

Judge : "But why ?"

Jasmeet : "Because he is not faithful to me."

Judge : "How do you know ?"

Jasmeet : "My lord, not a single child resembles him."

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From his death bed, Santa called his wife Jasmeet and said, "One month after I die I want you to marry Banta."

Jasmeet : "Banta ! But he is your enemy !"

Santa : " Yes, I know that ! I've suffered all these years so let him suffer now."

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Banta : I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife Preeto that I'd be home tonight, and when I got into my room I found Preeto in another man's arms.

Santa : kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, " Maybe, she didn't get the fax."

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