Letter of Banta Singh to Bill Gates

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,


This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer


for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your


notice.


1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and


whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ******


appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but


we face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware


vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard.


Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****. I


request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.


2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the 'shut down '


button.


3. There is a button 'start' but there is no "stop" button. We request


you to check this.


4. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend clicked 'run '


has ran upto Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to "sit", so


that we can click that by sitting.


5. One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in system? As I find


only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.


6. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost


the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this ' find',


but unable to trace. Is it a bug??


7. Every night I am not sleeping as I have to protect my 'mouse' from


CAT, So I suggest u to provide one DOG to kill that cat.


8. Please confirm when u are going to give me money for winning


'HEARTS' (playing cards in games) and when are u coming to my home to collect


ur money.


9. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft


sentence', so when u will provide that?

More Sardarji Jokes

Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave 11 cr after
deducting tax.
Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 crore or else return my Rs.20 back.
****
Sardar proposed to a Girl
Girl said 'I'm 1 year older to you'
Sardar replied: 'Oye No Problem Soniye, I'll marry you NEXT
YEAR.
****
Sardar: I hav'nt slept all nite in the train.
Friend: Y?
Sardar: Got upper berth.
Friend: Y did'nt u Xchnged?
Sardar: oye, there was nobody 2 Xchng in the lower berth..
****
Sardar tells a girl "Come 2 my house at nite, nobody will b
there....... ...... Girl goes at night & realy nobody was there
****
A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after Every 10 sec a women gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.
****
Sardar-why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r others running?
****
19 SARDARS WENT 4A FILM.ON ASKING THEM Y THEY CAME IN A BIG GROUP OF 19?
THEY REPLIED THAT THE FILM WAS ONLY FOR ABOVE 18...
****
Sardarji standing below a tube light with a open mouth......
WHY?
because his doctor advised 'light' dinner.
****
Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure as
to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".
After much thought he wrote : Yes!
****
Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant: It"s already
raining. Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.
****
Santa! Your daughter has died!
Depressed, Sardar jumps from 100th floor
At 50th floor he remembers I don't have a daughter!
At 25flr:I'm unmarried!
At 10flr:I'm Banta not santa
****
What does a sardar do after taking a xerox?
He will compare it with the original for any spelling mistakes.
****
Sardar & his wife buy coffee in a shop.
Sardar says... Drink quickly..... .
Wife asks why...
sardar says hot coffee Rs5 and cold coffee Rs10
****
Sardar's wish :when i die,i wanna die like my grandpa who died peacefuly
in his sleep not screaming like all d passengers in d car he was
driving..
****
Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what
you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that's a mirror!
****
Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.
****
Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab .
Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more..
****
Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies.
Srdr goes2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words.
It is 'U R STANDNG ON THE OXYGEN TUBE!"
****
Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.
His wife asked what you are doing ?
He said-I m seeing how i look while sleeping.

Santa Banta Once Again

Banta: When I get mad at u, u never fight back. How do u control ur anger?
Preeto: I clean the toilet.
Banta: How does that help?
Preeto: I use ur toothbrush.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Jeeto: U know, husband & wife aren't allowed to be together in heaven!
Santa: Yes, I do.That's why it's called heaven!
-------------------------------------------------------------
Santa had a dream in which someone murdered him. Next day he closed his bank account. Know why?
Because the bank's slogan was: We make your dreams come true...
-------------------------------------------------------------
Santa opened A College. Guess the Name of College?
The Name of the the College was: WOMEN`S COLLEGE FOR BOYS
-------------------------------------------------------------
Pappu: Dad, what is an idiot?
Santa: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him. Do you understand me?
Pappu: No.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Santa found the answer to the most difficult question ever: What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever U order first, will come first.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher: what do u call a person who cannot hear anything?
Santa: U can call him anything, because he cannot hear anything.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Angry Santa to his son: Have you ever seen an owl?
Pappu: (Looking down) No...
Santa: Don't look down. Look at me.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Santa: I got married because I was tired of cooking, cleaning home and washing clothes.
Banta: Amazing, I got divorce for the same reason.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Doctor asks Santa to give urine sample, stool & sperm sample for his yearly checkup.
Santa: I'm in a hurry doc, can I leave my underwear!
-------------------------------------------------------------
Interviewer: What is skeleton?
Santa: Skeleton is a person who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!
-------------------------------------------------------------
Santa sent SMS to his BOSS: Me sick, no work.
Boss SMS back: When I am sick I kiss my wife try it.
Two hours later Santa sms 2 boss: Me ok, ur wife very sweet.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Shopkeeper: This sweater's made of pure virgin wool sir.
Santa: You see I am not interested in the morals of the sheep. Just tell me, will it keep me warm?
-------------------------------------------------------------
Santa: How's Ur Sex Life?
Banta: As ususal great, Monday to Friday.
Santa: What about the weekends?
Banta: Weekends? Oh! that time I'm at home, relaxing with my wife.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Banta to his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It's already raining.
Banta: So what, take an umbrella and go.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Postman: I have to come 5 miles to deliver u this packet.
Santa: Why did u come so far. Instead U could have posted it.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Why did Santa sleep with a scale?
Because he wanted to measure how long he has Slept.
-------------------------------------------------------------
What a rip-off! Santa picked up a book called 37 Mating Positions. He goes home, opens it... and it turns out to be a book on chess!
-------------------------------------------------------------
An Englishman and Banta inside the toilet.
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Banta: Gud evening, we open the zip and do.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Santa bought a car on loan... He didn't pay the dues, the bank took away his car.
Santa: If I knew this, I'd have taken a loan for my marriage also!
-------------------------------------------------------------
Banta was driving his car in a zigzag fashion on the road. Traffic inspector stopped him.
Banta: I'm learning car driving.
Inspector: Without the instructor?
Banta: Correspondence Course!
-------------------------------------------------------------
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.
She called on him and said, "Pappu! What are 4, 2, 28 and 44?"
Little Johnny quickly replied, "Cartoon Network, Ten Sports, Discovery Channel and Pogo!"
-------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher: U call ur mother as MUM... what'll u call ur mother's younger sister & elder sister?
Santa's son: Mini Mum & Maxi Mum!
-------------------------------------------------------------
Santa's father gave him a gun on wedding night & said: Fire in air if ur wife is virgin, shoot her if not.
Santa fired in air 1st night & shot her 2nd night.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Boss: I'm giving u driver's job. Starting salary Rs. 3000, is it OK ?
Santa: U R great sir! Starting salary is Ok but how much is DRIVING salary?
-------------------------------------------------------------
Santa & Banta were looking at Egyptian mummy.
Santa: Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case. Banta: Aaho, lorry number is also written... BC 1760 !!!.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Banta: What do you call a wife who is beautiful, intelligent, understanding, caring, never jealous and a great cook?
Santa: Niri Afwah !!!
-------------------------------------------------------------
Santa gets a Cheque & throws it on the ground. Can you Guess why?
To see whether it'll BOUNCE or not!
-------------------------------------------------------------
Banta was traveling in an auto rickshaw with his wife. The driver adjusted the mirror.
Banta shouted: U r trying to see my wife, sit back, I'll drive!
-------------------------------------------------------------
Santa looked in the mirror & said: Seems I've seen him some where.
Then he says: Oh yes! He's the same bastard who was standing next to my wife in my wedding album.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Pappu: Dad what's Sex?
Santa gets tensed but explains everything. 
Pappu: But dad how do I write all that in this small box of school admission form?
-------------------------------------------------------------
Santa declares: I'll never marry in my life and I'll give same advice to my children also.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Santa: I'd like some Vitamins for my son.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C ?
Santa: Any will do as my son doesn't know the albhabets yet.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Gal: I think the poorest people are the happiest.
Banta: Then marry me and we'll be the happiest.
-------------------------------------------------------------
What's an adult joke?
Santa: Any joke which is eighteen years old.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Santa: What is the similarity between Bill Gates and Me? 
Banta: Don't know.
Santa: Well... He never comes to my house & I never go to his!
-------------------------------------------------------------
Santa & Banta are walking down the road when Banta says: Look at that dog with one eye!
Santa covers one of his eyes and says: Where?
-------------------------------------------------------------
Girl: Will you love me after marriage also?
Santa: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Jeeto to Santa: Stop looking at girls, u r married now.
Santa: U mean if I am on diet, I can't look at the menu also?
-------------------------------------------------------------
Santa drinking heavily in bar gets up and farts loudly. Man next to him: Excuse me, but you just farted before my wife.
Santa: Sorry, I didn't know it was her turn
-------------------------------------------------------------
Heights of Friendship: Santa commiting suicide, someone asked the reason. He said: My wife ran with my friend and I can't live without my friend.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Santa: I tried your number so many times, it always said 'Switched Off'!"
Banta: Nooo, it's my HELLO TUNE!
-------------------------------------------------------------
Santa was writing the passive voice of 'I made a mistake.'
He wrote: I was made by a mistake.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Santa to his son: I think it's right time we should talk about sex!
Pappu: Sure dad, what do u wanna know...?
-------------------------------------------------------------
An ATM's jammed & failed when operated by Santa. Why? B'coz he put a pin from his turban when asked: Enter ur Pin
-------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher: Pappu, describe digestive system of a human being.
Pappu: Very simple, it starts with right hand & ends with left hand.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on Escalators.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Lady Secretary: Sir, it's your wife's call. She wants to kiss you on the phone.
Santa: Take message and give me later.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Santa: What food you feed your new born baby?
Beautiful young Mom: Breast milk & Orange juice...
Santa: Oye, which side is orange juice?
-------------------------------------------------------------
Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto, Banta asks: Why are you removing a wheel from your auto?
Santa: Can't you read 'Parking for two wheelers only'
-------------------------------------------------------------
See what a spelling mistake can do...
Santa went to Goa. Sent SMS to his wife: Having a wonderful time, wish u were Her
-------------------------------------------------------------
Banta: Some people can tell time by looking at the sun.
Santa: But I've never been able to see the numbers
-------------------------------------------------------------
Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the name from NASA to SATYANASA
-------------------------------------------------------------
Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna enjoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets
Jeeto: Why 3?
Santa: For u n ur parents
-------------------------------------------------------------
Banta: Y do u take ur wife only to night clubs?
Santa: By the time she gets ready no other place is open
-------------------------------------------------------------
Museum Administrator: That's a 500 year old statue u've broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Banta: I've discovered the origin of the word Good-Bye
Santa: Oh, yeah? What's it? Banta: Many years ago, some husband said to his wife, 'I'm leaving u!' & the wife said: Good! Bye!
-------------------------------------------------------------
At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Santa: Control urself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
-------------------------------------------------------------
Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all India Radio!
-------------------------------------------------------------
Banta: U looked troubled, what's ur prob?
Santa: I'm going to b a father
Banta: But, that's wonderful
Santa: What's wonderful! My wife doesn't know about it yet
-------------------------------------------------------------
Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu's skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That's Tipu's skeleton when he was child
-------------------------------------------------------------
Banta: Y did u buy ur wife a huge diamond ring for her B'day? I thought she wanted a car.
Santa: She did, but where in the world was I going to find a fake car?
-------------------------------------------------------------
Santa: If I die will u remarry?
Jeeto: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Santa: No, I'll also stay with ur sister
-------------------------------------------------------------
Jeeto & Preeto were talking about their new milkman.
Jeeto: He's very good looking, punctual & dresses so smartly.
And so quickly too!, said Preeto
-------------------------------------------------------------
A man to Santa: Ur friend is kissing ur wife in ur home.
Santa rushes home and came back within half an hour n slapped the man n said: He's not my friend.
-------------------------------------------------------------
While walking in the highlands Santa fell down a deep hole.
Banta: R u ok?
Santa: Yeah!
Banta: Did u break anything?
Santa: No, there's nothing down here
-------------------------------------------------------------
Santa sent a SMS to his pregnant wife. Couple of seconds later he received a report on his phone and he started to dance. The report said: 'Delivered'
-------------------------------------------------------------
Santa was standing in sun on a hot sunny day.
Banta asked: What are you doing? 
Santa: Drying sweat
-------------------------------------------------------------
Santa was looking at a painting for a long time of a naked woman with leaves covering the body, he was asked what he was doing and he answered: Waiting for autumn.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Jeeto yelled at Santa: U're gonna b really sorry! I'm going to LEAVE you!
Santa: Make up ur mind! Which one is it gonna be?
-------------------------------------------------------------
Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn't come back yet!
Santa: Why don't u cook something else.
-------------------------------------------------------------
A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesn't turns up for 4 days. 
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out
-------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Pappu while filling up a form: What should I write against mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long.....!
-------------------------------------------------------------
Banta asked Santa: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?
Santa: Very simple, because he is PM not AM
-------------------------------------------------------------
Santa falls in luv with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister."
-------------------------------------------------------------
Nurse came out with the newborn kid, Santa rushed 2 her & after seeing the kid he shouted, PUTTAR hua PUTTAR. She slapped him: Leave my finger, u fool, It's a gal
-------------------------------------------------------------
Jeeto: If I die what'll you do?
Santa: I may also die.
Jeeto: Why?
Santa: Some time too much of happiness can also kill a man.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Santa: What's difference between man & Superman?
Pappu: Man wears underwear under the trouser & superman wears it over the trouser.
-------------------------------------------------------------

A car on loan

Santa bought a car on loan...
He didn't pay the dues, the bank took away his car.
Santa: If I knew this,
I'd have taken a loan for my marriage also!
............ ......... ......... ......... ......
Translation from Hindi to English,
"Khushi ke mare uski chaati phool gayi".
Santa: Due to happiness, his chest became breast.
............ ......... ......... ......... ......
Santa: Woh ladki kitni sundar hai!
Banta: Mujhe uska naam pata hai.
Santa: Kya naam hai uska?
Banta: Woh bank mein kaam karti hai, uske counter ke upar uska naam likha tha "CHAALU KHAATA"
........... ......... ......... ......... ......
Banta: Wo ladki deaf lagti hai.
Main kuch kehta hoon, woh kuch aur hi bolti hai.
Santa: Kaise?
Banta: Maine kaha I Luv U,
To woh boli 'Maine kal hi Naye Sandal kharide hain'
...............................................
 तूफानी बारिश में संता का 'धक्का'


तूफानी बारिश हो रही थी, आधी रात में संता ने एक घर का दरवाजा खटखटाया और बोला
भाईसाब धक्का लगा दोगे क्या
दरवाजा खोलने आया आदमी नींद में था, उसने मना कर दिया
कुछ देर बाद उस आदमी को  आत्मग्लानि हुई, उसने सोचा यदि कभी मैं रात में फंस गया और किसी ने मदद नहीं की तो क्या होगा
आदमी बाहर आया और आवाज लगाईः तुम हो कहां
संताः पार्क में झूले पर
------------------------------------------------

कारण


औरते आदमीयोंके मुकाबले अच्छा, शांत और लंबा आयुष्य व्यतीत करती है ... इसका क्या कारण होगा ?
एक बुध्दीमान सरदारजीने झटसे जवाब दिया - क्योंकी उन्हे बीवीयां नही होती.
-----------------------------------------------



............ ......... ......... ......... .....

Qutub minar

Father: Qutub minar kahan hai?
Son: pata nahin.
Father: kabhi ghar se bhi to bahar nikla karo.
Son: jamil uncle kaun hain?
Father pata nahi.
Son: kabhi ghar pe bhi to ruka karo.
~~~~~~~~~
Sardar: aaj main NE pani ko ullu bana diya.


Friend: pani ko ullu? Who kaise?


Sardar: oye! Subha main NE pani garam kiya, aur thande pani se naha liya


~~~~~~~
Man to hotel manager: jaldi chalo, meri wife khirki se kood kar jaan dena chahti hai.


Manager: so .. Sir what can I do?


Man: abey khirki nahin khul rahi hai.
~~~~~~~~~
Ek sardar ki maa ki tabiyat kharab thi,


Jab hospital legaye to doctor NE bola ki in ke test ho gaye.


Sardar bola in ki umar zyada hai test nahin one day karwa lo.

Courtesy Towards Lady

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.




Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.



Son: But Mom, I was sitting on Daddy's Lap. 

SARDAR JOKES-1

Sardar : My mobile bill how much?


Call Centre Girl : Sir, just dial 123 to know current bill status


Sardar : Stupid, not CURRENT BILL MY MOBILE BILL.


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


Friend : I got a brand new Ford IKON for my wife!


Sardar : Wow!!! That's an unbelievable exchange offer!!!


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


Judge : Don't U have shame? It is d 3rd time U R coming to court..


Sardar to judge : U R coming daily, don't U have shame?


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


Question  : "Should Women have Children after 35?"


Smart Sardar Replied : "No!


35 Children R More than Enough!!"


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


Sardar attending an interview in Software Company.


Manager : Do U know MS Office?


Sardar : If U give me the address I will go there sir.


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


Sardar got a sms from his girl friend: "I MISS YOU"


Sardarji replied: "I Mr YOU" !!.


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


After finishing MBBS Sardar started his practice. He Checked 1st Patient's


Eyes, Tongue & Ears By Torch & Finallly Said:


"Torch is okay"


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


Sardar1: Oye, what will happen if electricity is not discovered?


Sardar2: Nothing, we must watch TV in candle light.


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


Sardar in airplane going 2 Bombay .... While its landing he shouted: " Bombay


... Bombay "


Air hostess said : "B silent."


Sardar : "Ok.. Ombay. Ombay"


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


Teacher: "What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA , RAM, GANDHI and BUDHA?"


Sardar: "All are born on government holidays...! !!


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


Sir : What is difference between Orange and Apple?


Sardar : Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE 

Sardarjiiii tusi great ho ji!!!!!!!!!!!!

Santa :  I am a proud Sardar, my son is in Medical College .
Banta :  Really, what is he studying,
Santa :  No he is not studying, they are studying him.
 ************ ********* ********* ********* *********
 What is common between : Krishna , Ram, Gandhiji & Jesus..?
Sardar ji Replied :  All are born on Government Holidays.
  ************ ********* ********* ********* *********
 Santa falls in love with a nurse...after much
thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her:  "I love you sister."
************ ********* ********* ********* *********
 Pappu, while filling up a form:  "Dad, what should I write for mother tongue"?
Santa:  "Very long""!
*********** ********* ********* ********* *********
 Santa went out to buy an Indian flag.
The shop owner gave him the flag.
Guess what did he ask next...  Ismein aur colour dikhayiye".
************ ********* ********* ********* *********
Santa went to battery shop and asked to change the battery.
The shopkeeper asked:  "Exide laga du?"
Santa:  "Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?"
************ ********* ********* ********* *********
Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge:  What'll you take - 30 days or Rs 3000?
Santa: I think I'll take the money.
************ ********* ********* ********* *********
Q:  How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in school?
A:  He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.
************ ********* ********* ********* *********
Q:  A Man asked Santa:  "Akal badi ya bhains? "
A: Santa bola:  "Pehle date of birth to batao."
************ ********* ********* ********* *********
Q:  Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?
A:   Because it was an entrance exam.
************ ********* ********* ********* *********
What's Ford?
Santa:  Gaadi.
What's Oxford ?
Santa:  So simple, Bail Gaadi
 ********** ********* ********* *********
Santa:  My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.
Banta:  He probably got a lot of applause when he got out.
Santa:  I didn't say he got out.
************ ********* ********* *********
Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever - "What comes first - the chicken or the egg?"
"O yaar,  jiska order pehle doge,  vo ayega"!
************ ********* ********* *********
Santa (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?"
Banta:  "Why don't you use a mouth wash?"

SARDAR JOKES

Train mein ek husband apni wife say: "tujh say shadi kar ke pachta raha hoon."

"dil karta hai tujhe kuttay ke aagay daal doon"

Samnay wala passenger bola: "bhao bhao"
~~~~~~~~~
Wife : mere iraday bare nek hain, aap hazaaron mein ek hain.

Sardar : mera deemag bara tez hai, pehlay yeh bata baki 999 kaun hain?
~~~~~~~~~
Sardar looked himself in mirror and said:
Is ko kahin dekha hai. Then he said:

Oye yaad aya, yeh to wohi kamina hai jo
Shaadi ki album mein meri biwi ke saath hai

Would You Remarry?

Jeeto: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?" Santa: "Definitely not!" Jeeto: "Why not - don't you like being married?" Santa: "Of course I do." Jeeto: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?" Santa: "Okay, I'd get married again." Jeeto: "You would? (with a hurtful look on her face). Santa: (makes audible groan). Jeeto: 'Would you live in our house?' Santa: 'Sure, it's a great house.' Jeeto: 'Would you sleep with her in our bed?' Santa: 'Where else would we sleep?' Jeeto: 'Would you let her drive my car?' Santa: 'Probably, it is almost new.' Jeeto: 'Would you replace my pictures with hers?' Santa: 'That would seem like the proper thing to do.' Jeeto: 'Would you give her my jewellry?' Santa: 'No, I'm sure she'd want her own.' Jeeto: 'Would she wear my shoes?' Santa: 'No, her size is 6.' Jeeto: Silence................. Santa: 'Shit'.

CHIN YU YAN

Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.

The Chinese friend just says "CHIN YU YAN" and dies.

Sardarji goes to China to find the meaning of his friend's last Words.

And finds It means "U R STANDNG ON the OXYGEN TUBE"

~~~~~~~~~

Man: Sardarji where were U born?

Sardarji: Punjab.

Man: Which part?

Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body Is born in Punjab Yaar

~~~~~~~~~

Ek kabuter NE sardar te bith kar diti,

Sardar : ye teri maa NE tenu kachha pana nai sikhaya?

Kabuter : saaley TU kachha pehen ke karda aein?

~~~~~~~~~

A sardar was drawing money from ATM,

The sardar behind him in the line said,

"Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****)."

The first sardar replies, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! U R wrong, Its 1258"

~~~~~~~~~

Singh Is King

A Sardar, a German and a Pakistani got arrested consuming alcohol

which is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia , so

for the terrible crime they are all sentenced 20 lashes each of the whip.

As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh announced:

"It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow

each of you one wish before your whipping."

The German was first in line; he thought for a while and then said:

"Please tie a pillow to my back."

This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes & the German had

to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.

The Pakistani was next up. After watching the German in horror he said

smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back."

But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes & the Pakistani was

also led away whimpering loudly.

The Sardar was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the

Sheikh turned to him and said:

"You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is

one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"

"Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness," Sardar replied.

"In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me

not 20, but 100 lashes."

"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are

also very brave." The Sheikh said with an admiring look on his face.

"If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it." And what is your

second wish?" the Sheikh asked.

Sardar smiled and said, "Tie the Pakistani to my back" !!!

"SINGH IS KING"

Bhabhiji's Name

Laughter Is A Best Medicine.

Santa: Bhabiji ka naam kya hai?

Banta: Google Kaur

Santa: Eh? Ye kya naam hai Santa?

Banta: Ek sawaal karo, dus jawaab milega......

MTV Bakra.. !

Jasmeet Kaur caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low all around his living room.

Jasmeet: 'What are you searching for?'

Santa: 'Hidden cameras!'

Jasmeet: 'And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras here?'

Santa: 'That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing.

Why every few minutes he keeps saying 'You are watching MTV! How does he know that?'