Warm and Moist!

Customer: I'd like to buy some dog food.

Salesman: Do you have a dog?

Customer: Yes.

Salesman: Where is he?

Customer: He's at home.

Salesman: I'm sorry, I can't sell this dog food to you unless I see the dog. Store policy.

The next day, the same customer returns.

Customer: I'd like to buy some cat food.

Salesman: Do you have a cat?

Customer: Yes.

Salesman: Well.where is she?

Customer: She's at home!

Salesman: Sorry, I can't sell this cat food to you unless I see your cat.

The next day the customer returns again.

Salesman: What's in the sack?

Customer: Put your hand inside.

Salesman: Hmmm.It's warm and moist! What is it?

Customer: I would like to buy some toilet paper......

Bug Spray

A salesman was traveling through the country side, flogging insect repellent. He came to a farmhouse and tried his pitch on the farmer.


"Sir, my bug spray is so good you will never be bitten again. I guarantee it."


The farmer was dubious.


"Young man, I'll make you a proposition. I'll tie you out in my cornfield buck naked, covered with that bug spray. If there is not a single bite on you come morning, I'll buy a whole case from you. And get everyone in the county to buy a case......we will make you rich.


The salesman was delighted.




They went to the field and he stripped. The farmer sprayed him thoroughly with the bug spray and tied him to a stake. Back to the house went the farmer. The next morning, the farmer and his family trooped out to the cornfield. Sure enough, the salesman was there, hanging in his bonds, not a single bite on him. Yet he was a total wreck!




Pale, ghastly, haggard, and drawn, but not one bite on him. The farmer was perplexed.


"Son," he said, "Now, you don't have a bite on you but you look like hell! What the devil happened?" The salesman looked up through bloodshot eyes and croaked,




"Doesn't that calf have a mother? 

Bug Spray

A salesman was traveling through the country side, flogging insect repellent. He came to a farmhouse and tried his pitch on the farmer.


"Sir, my bug spray is so good you will never be bitten again. I guarantee it."


The farmer was dubious.


"Young man, I'll make you a proposition. I'll tie you out in my cornfield buck naked, covered with that bug spray. If there is not a single bite on you come morning, I'll buy a whole case from you. And get everyone in the county to buy a case......we will make you rich.


The salesman was delighted.




They went to the field and he stripped. The farmer sprayed him thoroughly with the bug spray and tied him to a stake. Back to the house went the farmer. The next morning, the farmer and his family trooped out to the cornfield. Sure enough, the salesman was there, hanging in his bonds, not a single bite on him. Yet he was a total wreck!




Pale, ghastly, haggard, and drawn, but not one bite on him. The farmer was perplexed.


"Son," he said, "Now, you don't have a bite on you but you look like hell! What the devil happened?" The salesman looked up through bloodshot eyes and croaked,




"Doesn't that calf have a mother? 

Vacuum Cleaner

A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door on the first house of the street.

A tall lady answered the door.

Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the living room and opened a big black plastic bag and poured all the cow droppings onto the carpet.

"Madam, if I could not clean this up with the use of this new powerful vacuum cleaner, I will eat all this s...!" exclaimed the eager salesman.

Do you need chilli sauce or ketchup with that" asked the lady.

The bewildered salesman asked, "Why, Madam?"

"We just moved in, & there's no electricity in the house!"

Moral : Gather all required information before working on any project..