Smart Beggar

Parvinder and Habib are beggars. They beg in different areas of London...

Habib begs just as long as Parvinder but only collects £2 to £3 every day.

Parvinder brings home a suitcase full of £10 notes, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot of money to spend.

Habib says to Parvinder, "I work just as long and hard as you do but how do you bring home a suitcase full of £10 notes every day?"

Parvinder says, "Look at your sign, what does it say'?

Habib's sign reads: I have no work, a wife and 6 kids to support.

Parvinder says, "No wonder you only get £2- £3." Habib says, "So what does your sign say"?

Parvinder's sign reads: I only need another £10 to move back to Pakistan !

PAKISTANI JOKES - BANNED IN PAK

Here are some of those text messages that have angered the Pakistani establishment: 


1. Long lines 
A man standing in a long line for food tells the others in the line that he is leaving the line to go to shoot the president. He returns after a few hours and rejoins the line. 
“Did you manage to kill him ?", everyone asks him. 
“No, that line is longer than this one“, he replies. 


2. Robber meets Zardari 
Robber: “Give me all your money!” 
Zardari: “Don’t you know who I am? I am Asif Ali Zardari.” 
Robber: “OK. Give me all my money.” 


3. TV anchor announcing: 
Terrorists have kidnapped our beloved Zardari and are demanding $5,000,000 or they will burn him with petrol. Please donate what you can. I have donated five liters.” 


4. Postmaster General announcing 
To commemorate the ascension to the Presidency, Pakistan Post has officially launched a new stamp. But the people of Pakistan are confused which side on the stamp to spit on. 


5. Announcement In Zardari’s official airplane… 
Mr. President , We are about to land. 
could you please put Sherry Rehman (former Information minister) in an upright position. Thank you…. 


6. Pakistani meets American 
Pakistani to American: What do you guys do with thieves? 
American: We treat them humanely and give them nice food, warm clothes and long jury trials
Pakistani: That’s nothing. We give them the presidency. 


7. Genie meets Pakistani 
Genie to Pakistani: Order me my master. What can I do for you? 
Pakistani to Genie: Bring me all the wealth in the Swiss bank. 
Genie: I am Genie, not Zardari.

EXTRA SECURITY IN PAKISTAN

After the recent spate of suicide bombings in Pakistan, the PPP Government of Pakistan has tightened security.

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Zardari And Musharraf

Two Pakistanis viz. Zardari and Musharraf moved to Paris where

they made friends with a French guy named Jean-Paul.

They used to go all over Paris with him when suddenly one day . . .

Jean - Paul disappeared.

The two went to the police and lodged a complaint.

The police asked them if they could give some vital clues about

Jean-Paul that would help find him.

Zardari says . . . "Jean-Paul was handsome and tall"

Police says . . . "Most Frenchmen are like that . . . Give us

something specific"

Musharraf says . . . "Jean-Paul had blue eyes and was very fair"

Police say . . . "C'mon guys, lots of Frenchmen have blue eyes and

fair hair, tell us something specific"

Zardari and Musharraf . . . "Oh yes. Now we remember! Jean-Paul had

two holes in his ass !!!

The Policemen get really interested . . . "Now that's something very

specific - but tell us, how do you know this?? Have you guys seen

them?"

Zardari and Musharraf . . . "No, we haven't actually seen the holes,

but wherever we went with Jean-Paul, everyone used to say . . .

Here comes Jean-Paul with the TWO assholes......!!!!!!"

Singh Is King

A Sardar, a German and a Pakistani got arrested consuming alcohol

which is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia , so

for the terrible crime they are all sentenced 20 lashes each of the whip.

As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh announced:

"It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow

each of you one wish before your whipping."

The German was first in line; he thought for a while and then said:

"Please tie a pillow to my back."

This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes & the German had

to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.

The Pakistani was next up. After watching the German in horror he said

smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back."

But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes & the Pakistani was

also led away whimpering loudly.

The Sardar was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the

Sheikh turned to him and said:

"You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is

one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"

"Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness," Sardar replied.

"In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me

not 20, but 100 lashes."

"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are

also very brave." The Sheikh said with an admiring look on his face.

"If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it." And what is your

second wish?" the Sheikh asked.

Sardar smiled and said, "Tie the Pakistani to my back" !!!

"SINGH IS KING"