Fell Off The Roof

“How did it happen?” the doctor asked the middle-aged farmhand as he set the man’s broken leg.


“Well, doc, 25 years ago…”


“Never mind the past! Tell me how you broke your leg this morning.”


“Like I was saying… 25 years ago, when I first started working on the farm, that night, right after I’d gone to bed, the farmer’s beautiful daughter came into my room. She asked me if there was anything I wanted.


I said, “No, everything is fine.”


“Are you sure?” she asked.


“I’m sure,” I said.


“Isn’t there anything I can do for you?” she wanted to know.


“I reckon not,” I replied.


“Excuse me,” said the doctor, “What the hell does this story have to do with your broken leg?”


“Well, this morning,” the farmhand explained, “when it dawned on me what she meant, I fell off the roof!”

A Blonde and A Lawyer

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York.

The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.

He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa."

Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.

The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the lawyer.

"Okay," says the lawyer, "your turn."

She asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"

The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references ... no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress ... no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.

After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500.

The blonde thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"

Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep

Chit Chat

A pharmacist told his new assistant to be polite to every customer that came in. "If you're stuck for conversation, talk about the weather," he advised.

When the pharmacist came back from having his dinner, the assistant was sporting a lovely black eye. "So much for your advice," moaned the assistant.

"What happened?" asked the pharmacist.

"Well, this woman came in for a packet of sanitary napkins. Trying to make conversation, I said that it looked like it was going to be a dull weekend…" :)

Sardarji in Delhi

Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has a Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower.

Sardarji says "Yes".

"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder ."

The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Sardarji figured he was taken for a ride.

On the next day the Sardarji is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock.

"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."

The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says "I am not a fool. This time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder "

AN AFFAIR WITH BOSS

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde all work in the same office with the same female boss. Every day, they noticed the boss left work early.

One day, the girls decided that when the boss left, they'd leave right behind her. After all, she never called or came back, so how was she to know?

The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening and went to bed early.

The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at her spa before meeting a dinner date.

The blonde was happy, happy, happy to be home, but when she got to her bedroom she heard a muffled noise from inside.

Slowly, quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with HER BOSS!!! Ever so gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house.

The next day, during their coffee break, the brunette and redhead mentioned leaving early again, and asked the blonde if she was with them.

"NO WAY," she exclaimed. "I almost got caught yesterday!"