Husband Wife - Brain

Last night I was sitting in the living room, talking to my wife about life... In-between, we talked about the idea of living or dying.

I told her :Never let me live in a vegetative state, totally dependent on machines and liquids from a bottle. If you see me in that state  I want you to disconnect all the contraptions that are keeping me alive, I'd much rather die'.

My wife got up from the sofa with this real look of admiration towards me....and proceeded to disconnect the TV, the Cable, the Dish, the DVD, the Computer, the Cell Phone, the iPod, and the Xbox, and then went to the bar and threw away all my whisky, rum, gin, vodka & the beer in the fridge...

I ALMOST DIED!!

Moral:

1. Think about what you wish for..
2. The female brain works on a different wavelength from the male

The problems of "HE" and "SHE"..

The problems with "HE" as thought by "SHE"

If u TREAT him nicely, he says u are IN LOVE with him;

If u Don't, he says u are PROUD.

If u DRESS Nicely, he says u are trying to LURE him;

If u Don't, he says u are from VILLAGE.

If u ARGUE with him, he says u are STUBBORN ;

If u keep QUIET, he says u have no BRAINS .

If u are SMARTER than him, he'll lose FACE;

If he's Smarter than u, he is GREAT.

If u don't Love him, he tries to POSSESS u;

If u Love him! , he will try to LEAVE u.(very true huh?)

If u don't MAKE LOVE with him., he says u DON'T LOVE him;

If u DO!! He says u are CHEAP.

If u tell him your PROBLEM, he says u are TROUBLESOME;

If u DON'T, he says that u don't TRUST him.

If u SCOLD him, u are like a NANNY to him;

If he SCOLDS u, it is because he CARES for u.

If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;

If he BREAKS his, he is FORCED to do so.

If u SMOKE, u are BAD girl;

If he SMOKES, he is GENTLEMAN.

If u do WELL in your exams, he says it's LUCK;

If he does WELL, it's BRAIN.

If u HURT him, u are CRUEL;

If he HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!!